Many of you here may know of this film that inspired this work, but if you are new here, let me give you a bit of context.

In 2021, I produced a short film about a young woman struggling with her relationship to her self-image in the confines of her college musical theatre program. This story was sparked by my own body image journey - growing up a dancer from a very young age, and then going on to pursue musical theatre at the professional level, and all of the body stuff that comes along with said pursuit of Broadway and the entertainment industry at large.

Like many young women, I had been on a windy rollercoaster ride when it came to my body, how I saw her, how I felt about her, and how I treated her. During the pandemic, I was able to slow down enough to stop the ride and start to examine what I’d been going through for the past ten years prior. In doing so, I began to create based on what I was uncovering. Before I got to writing and bringing to life the short film, “A Broadway Body”, the first thing I created was a poem.

I remember it was fall of 2020, and I sat down one day to write. I was doing a lot of writing at this time, so it makes sense the first iteration of this work came out through this medium. This poem just flowed out of me, almost non-stop. If you’ve ever read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, this felt like a Big Magic moment, one of the first of many to come.

In talking with Cami, I shared about this poem and how it truly was the start of my journey towards body liberation for myself and my relationship to my own body, self-image, eating habits, movement habits… and it was also the start of my journey towards the body liberation work that I’m doing today. And so, I wanted to share the poem here with all of you.

This is the poem > that inspired the film > that inspired the Substack > that inspired the podcast > that inspired the movement… and I haven’t looked at it in… years. And I know it’s a bit vulnerable. I’m not going to lie, I’m a little nervous to read it again and to share it with you here. So thank you for holding space for it in all of its glory.

Before I share, there is a Trigger Warning on this poem. It touches on themes of dieting, over-exercise, EDs, disordered eating, bullying, etc. Please read with caution.

Stretchmarks // no baby. Your body wasn’t meant for that.

DISCOVERING

The search to fit in.

The need for acceptance.

Why do we all care so much?

Girl, it’s all at your heart’s expense.

If they want to call you big, call you fat,

They’re only creating their own toxic habitat.

Your insides matter much much more

Than the space you take up in the room.

Don’t let them go and start a war,

And tell you you’re worthless because you’re not thin.

Tears fall down on my sweater,

Navigating how to treat my body better.

Count my calories just to look like a “babe”

Never been in that category.

All my friends have boyfriends, one’s a huge bully

Straight up calls me a whale; whale fuck you, fully.

Unlovable: my diagnosis — got nobody close

Gotta say I hate that quite possibly the most.

Screw impressing some teenager that doesn’t care about you

Your whole heart, a fresh start will surely show them who

You really are, you’re a star, never fear.

Give it some time, that will become quite clear.

They tell you these things because they too are insecure deep down

Well, honey, that’s their problem to carry around.

I’d tell my younger self

You don’t need a dietician’s help.

I’d tell her in her 13th year

Don’t count your calories, my dear.

I’d whisper, you’ve got aspirations, sister.

Don’t wear your mind down.

Nobody else will be able to tell.

Try to treat your body well.

Spend your time with brownies, just the batter

All because you don’t feel you matter.

Sweet guy from the neighborhood asks you to prom...

Was it your mom who talked to his mom?

Protecting protecting my small fragile heart.

Hey, at least that’s a start.. to make me realize—

Dunkin’ donuts for breakfast

Taco Bell mid-day

Swim practice after school to melt it all away

Break your best friend’s glasses so she won’t get all the attention

Try to crush on her crush

Yeah, right, in what dimension?

You don’t need a man’s help.

Your worth won’t depend on how that kiss felt.

The ghosting, the posting, the bullies, them all.

You’ll come out stronger.

Stand up, goddess, stay tall.

Weight watchers at 15, all 180 pounds.

From pop tarts for breakfast, simply chowing down,

To bare plates and “I’m late”s, my belly’s too round.

Losing weight so slowly, yet not seemingly at all.

Will I ever fit into a medium or even a small?

LEARNING

First week of college, I’m being fawned over

Multiple men knocking at my dormroom door.

This is so unfamiliar to me I jump at every chance

To have my heart held by whichever boy asks me to dance.

Not working through childhood trauma,

Has left me helpless, all my weight on the drama

Of a love that was never meant to be

Because I didn’t love me how I should be.

Circling the cul-de-sac, just 19 years old

Running two straight miles to fit into this mold.

Lay flat on my back in front of the standing mirror

Just to flatten my tummy: daydream clearer.

Blueberries for lunch, a cookie for dinner.

I think MyFitPal read by March, “You’ll be thinner.”

A graduated 23-year-old queen,

Friends and family barely recognizing

Her struggles from within: to eat or to sleep.

Beats herself up over one small cheat.

“You look so skinny” and “you should eat more” only drove her to further reach that score

Lost that fat 50 but I’ll always want more.

Paleo, veganism, vegetarian, you try it

Weight loss pills, why not?

Apple cider vinegar diet.

Each one fails, the pressure’s too tight.

Looking for that one thing you might finally get right.

Just remember that when you run into these fools

These fools from high school

In the city you call home at 25 years old

When all the jogging has paid off

And the scale reads “less soft”

They’ll be wishing they hadn’t used those harsh words

Hadn’t called you those rude names

Hadn’t made you feel hurt.

HEALING

Who knew you’d be 28 and a half.

Realizing you’d been through quite the shit bath.

Your flabby tummy, your thick thighs,

Hey, bitch, we’ve all got cellulite.

No diet, no man, no treadmill will make you realize you’re beautiful.

The light is within, your soul, your beating heart.

The trips, the travels, the friendships, the battles.

The number on the scale, the size of your clothes,

All things that don’t matter, as I now know.

The thickness of your ass won’t ever determine

Your worthiness in a body that never was broken.

In the same year I find self-love and true love

Shouldn’t I have loved myself first?

Those nouns, the looks, the never-were crushes, the love notes not written, those never forgotten.

It was all harder for me so I could see now

How truly proud I could be of myself.

Fighting through a disordered eating disorder,

Not knowing I had a problem ‘til I was much older.

Spent years running every single day

What a god damn fucking waste, I’d say.

My knees are tired of holding this weight

And these thoughts that I’ll never be skinny enough.

Stretch marks are sexy

Embrace your damn skin

It’s the home you’ll forever be living in.

You’re squishy and your tummy sticks out like a bump

A few rolls over your panties, SO. FUCKING. WHAT.

Belly button deep, it’s just holding secrets

Do you love me yet? It screams into the ethers.

So what if someone looks at your midsection

And wonders “has that woman carried a child?” CORRECTION:

Your heart is much bigger than the shape of your vessel

No need to give that one a wrestle

It’s plain and simple, please believe me dear.

We all are struggling, and that is most clear.

Never was a hot girl

Guess what?

You don’t wanna be

Having good looks and a flat stomach?

That’s not the key

What matters is inside,

Empathy and compassion.

Build a good heart and mind

That’s truly what’s dashing.

For them all to see that you were never meant for their small community of thoughts that crush souls and words that sting a lifetime.

I’m sitting here in real-time, after re-reading this poem for the first time in… years. And I’m moved, and I’m feeling proud. This encapsulates so much of my story prior to creating this film and starting this work. And I am only tenfold more inspired to keep going for this little girl - the one who needed to hear she was strong and courageous and brilliant and beautiful, even if she didn’t feel it - and all of the little girls out there just like her.

Stay tuned for the release of my interview with Cami Codell on the 3 OMs Podcast this Friday, July 31st! I share more of my story and the origin story for my work. In the meantime, follow Cami on Substack and show her some love!

Also, I will be taking a break from sharing conversations for the month of August, and I will be back September 1st with a very special conversation, so stay tuned ◡̈

Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading. Thank you for supporting my work. Thank you for reading. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In body healing,

Megan ❤️‍🔥

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might want to be part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.

Everyone, please welcome Halle Hunt to Continued Conversations! Halle and I met through mutual friends a few years ago, and I was so excited to bring her in for a conversation. She is the first pro athlete I’ve spoken with on this show, and she brings an extremely important lens to the conversation - being at the intersection of both athlete and model, and all that comes along with these two identities in terms of our bodies.

In our conversation, we discuss…

• Halle’s (very important) work in clinical research of medical devices and the impact of working on devices that are in people’s bodies and changing people’s lives in real time

• How Halle’s overall experience as a college athlete impacted her relationship to her body

• Her struggle with a stomach ulcer leading her to modify her diet, which led to being told she had an eating disorder, which then led to binge-eating

• The nuance of a trainer/teacher-athlete/student dynamic when the person in the position of power is concerned their student is struggling

• Halle’s struggle with depression, disordered eating, and body image issues during the pandemic

• Learning to take care of our bodies - learning what makes our bodies feel good and what doesn’t

• Eat the dang pizza

• Eating patterns on the road while traveling to different countries to play volleyball, and the nuance of spending the entirety of the trip alongside her partner (who may have different eating patterns) - and advocating for herself through it all

• Eating with other people and understanding we are each our own individual with our own food/eating preferences

• And ultimately doing what is best for you and your body.

Halle opened up about her story of struggle and redemption in such beautiful ways, and I am endlessly grateful for her vulnerability in sharing as much as she did in our conversation. We touched on an array of themes in the realm of body image, and I got chills multiple times listening back through to edit this one. I’m also excited to say Halle will be coming back on the show to continue our conversation and dive a bit deeper, but for now, and I cannot wait for you to hear Part 1 of our conversation!

Halle was a part of one of my very first sign days in Hermosa Beach for “What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body.” So in our conversation, she expanded on that saying that her favorite thing about her body is that it fuels her to do her sport.

“ Being able to trust my body, that I have prepared it enough to be able to go play the tournaments that I'm playing and win at the tournaments that I'm playing, and just being thankful that I can still do this after injury, sickness, all of those things. I'm just happy to be here, and I'm glad that my body lets me be here.” - Halle Hunt

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Halle Hunt is a professional beach volleyball player and former Division I indoor and beach volleyball athlete. Outside of competition, she works in clinical research and models, balancing high-performance athletics with a career in healthcare. She is passionate about sharing her experiences as an athlete and encouraging others to pursue excellence both on and off the court.

Subscribe to Halle’s Substack

Follow Halle on Instagram

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

A couple of notes to ensure this is a safe space for my guests to share their intimate and vulnerable body image stories in:

• These conversations are quite nuanced, complex, and oftentimes very vulnerable. Remember that everyone has their own body image story, and while someone else’s might look differently than yours, I encourage you to keep an open mind and stay empathetic.

• That being said, I welcome your support of my guests in the comments. Please be kind and considerate with your words.

• Thank you for being here. By sharing this type of content, my hope is to inspire collective reflection and cultural questioning. Thank you for supporting me in exploring the effects of our society’s beauty norms and body standards on human beings existing in today’s world.

Leave a comment

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might be interested in being a part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations!

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers.

“What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body?”

LOCATION: Key Method Pilates

DATE: Saturday, July 4th, 2026

TIME: 10:30am-1:30pm

Answers I heard:

• “What’s NOT my favorite thing? So much to love!”

• That my body was strong enough to do a triathalon

• My hair

• My waist

• My brain

• My eyes

• My toes

• My eyelashes

• It allows me to do the things I love

• My shoulders

• My legs

• My eyes, because I have the same eys as my grandma and dad. They’re the thing that, no matter what is going on in life or how I feel about my body, they’re the one thing that remains constant.

• My smile

• My biceps

• My arms

• My eyes and my bald head

• My legs because they keep me going and moving

Katie’s favorite thing about her body:

• My eyes because when I look at the sun, my eyes turn a little bit auburn, which is why my favorite color is burgendy!

My favorite thing about my body that day:

• My legs!

I’m loving collaborating with local fitness studios and bringing a reminder of how incredible your body is into a space of movement. If you know of a studio I should pop up at, please let me know!

What’s your favorite thing about your body?

❤️‍🔥Megan

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might want to be part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.

Everyone please welcome Aidan Rees to Continued Conversations! Aidan and I have known each other for a long time now, and I was so excited to sit down with her to talk body image. We both met in the acting space, and Aidan is both a brilliant actor, teacher, and all-around creative human being. I cannot wait for you to dive into this one!

In our conversation, we discussed…

• “Creative person” is a real title of work

• Losing her mom at an early age and growing up with her dad leading the charge when it comes to body stuff

• Conscious curiosity about the distinct nuances of our own bodies

• Training our brains to divert to neutrality when it comes to what our bodies look like

• Embracing the things about our bodies we’re taught to dislike

• Meeting aging with open arms instead of trying to fight it

• Seeing the uniqueness and the beauty in others instead of immediately comparing yourself to them

• Shutting down negative self-talk narratives when they come up in conversations we’re involved in

• Properly fueling our bodies and removing the narrative of “bad” food

• Rejecting societal beauty standards

• The body liberation movement and learning how capitalism and patriarchy impact how we view our bodies

• Truly examining the why behind your choices when it comes to your body

Aidan shared so much of her story and also dropped some incredible knowledge in our conversation. We went deep into the body image talk, and we unpacked a LOT in this hour-long chat. Please, please enjoy Aidan’s brilliance and thoughts and shares. I walked away from our conversation thinking about these themes and topics for days after, and I hope that you take as many golden nuggets away from our converstion that I did!

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Originally from Salt Lake City, Aidan is based in LA where you can find her acting, writing, doing comedy, and playing soccer. Honored to be an Angeleno, Aidan believes it is a privilege to be a transplant and finds joy participating in local mutual aid. She is a graduate of AMDA College and Conservatory, The Second City, and has found her home in sketch and storytelling. Her proudest piece of work is her solo show Smoochy Girl. She was once asked, “Aidan, why can’t you just sing the melody for once?”

Follow Aidan on Instagram!

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

A couple of notes to ensure this is a safe space for my guests to share their intimate and vulnerable body image stories in:

• These conversations are quite nuanced, complex, and oftentimes very vulnerable. Remember that everyone has their own body image story, and while someone else’s might look differently than yours, I encourage you to keep an open mind and stay empathetic.

• That being said, I welcome your support of my guests in the comments. Please be kind and considerate with your words.

• Thank you for being here. By sharing this type of content, my hope is to inspire collective reflection and cultural questioning. Thank you for supporting me in exploring the effects of our society’s beauty norms and body standards on human beings existing in today’s world.

Leave a comment

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might be interested in being a part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations!

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers.

WYFT is my new acronym for “What’s Your Favorite Thing (About Your Body),” and I kind of love it.

Before I dive into Girls Night, if you’re on TikTok, follow along the journey of sharing people’s answers!

Welcome to What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body: Girls Night!

I got the idea to host a WYFT Girls Night, and I immediately went to my friend Caroline, who is the queen of hosting parties (see ). She gave me all of the best advice for having the girlies night of my dreams, and I was excited to host my friends for a night of crafts, wine, and remembering how incredible, resilient, and badass we all are.

I took the idea to my wonderful roommate, Erika, who was immediately down to host this thing. (Shoutout to Erika for being a truly incredible friend and human to live with and for supporting me and my crazy ideas!)

I’d asked everyone to bring themselves, a snack/drink of choice, their favorite thing about their body, and to wear a fun outfit that makes them feel confident and most like themselves.

Erika and I spent the whole day prepping the space. I knew I wanted the vibes to be fun and girlie, and I wanted to go all out on the decor.

As my first few friends started to arrive, I was hit with a wave of gratitude for the incredible women in my life. How lucky am I that these friends showed up and showed out for this event? Like… beyond lucky. The snacks were abundant, the wine was flowing, and the crafts were crafting. I cannot thank these ladies enough for leaning into the theme, showing up with the outfits that made them being a part of this inaugural evening of voicing the things about our bodies we are appreciative of and reminding ourselves that we are truly enough as we are.

Here I am, the day after, recapping over a glass of wine and pasta. I truly would not have it any other way!

“What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body?”

LOCATION: Mi casa!

DATE: Saturday, June 27th, 2026

TIME: 5-11pm

Answers my friends shared:

• Justine said her smile ◡̈

• Erika said her eyes

• Megan C said her feet

• Natalie said her legs

• Christine said her hip dips

• Kiara said her legs

• And I said my laugh and my smile

These women sharing their favorite things about their bodies just solidified for me that we need more of these types of conversations in girlfriend groups. Conversations where each woman is on her own journey, has her own nuanced relationship to her own body, and might be going through her own trials and tribulations in terms of how she feels about her body. And yet, we are altogether creating reminders of how incredible our bodies are and celebrating the inner and outer magnificence that is the physical vessels that we get to experience life through. I know that I am grateful to my body for allowing me to hug these girls, for allowing me to see their innate beauty, and for allowing me to hear their sweet laughter. I am insanely lucky to have women around me who inspire me to keep going - I love you all 🩷

I’m not quite sure what this will bring or where this will take WYFT. I’m hoping to do this again in some capacity or another - possibly partner with some local businesses to host a Girls Night with women I’ve never even met before. If you have an idea or know of someone who would be interested in hosting, please get in touch!

❤️‍🔥Megan

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might want to be part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.

Everyone please welcome Sara McKinley to Continued Conversations! Sara and I met through the acting world, and I’ve been wanting to chat with her for a while now, so I’m thrilled she joined me for a conversation about body image! Sara comes from the world of acting, and she also shares her lens on personal injury and navigating chronic pain.

In our conversation, we discuss…

• Navigating diet culture when represented by a parent

• Sara’s experience navigating a chronic illness

• How the medical system’s recommendation of “just lose some weight” isn’t always the answer

• Getting used to viewing yourself as an actor

• Being forced to sit face-to-face with yourself as a means to work through your personal self-image hurdles and biases

• How injury impacted Sara’s relationship with her body

• Advocating for yourself and deeply listening to what your body needs, especially living with a chronic illness

• We’re the ones who notice our bodies’ fluctuations the most

Along with diving deep into the throes of moving through a personal injury that impacted her life and career, as well as discussing how she’s affected by chronic pain on a daily basis, Sara so delicately opened up about the lessons she learned from her dad’s dieting, as well as sharing her own relationship with food. Healing from diet culture is not linear, and I’m grateful to Sara for talking about this subject, along with others, so compassionately. I truly, truly cannot wait for you to hear our conversation!

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Below is a text insert of our conversation that stuck with me, starting at around the 11-minute and 24-second mark:

Megan Gill: I’m curious to know, as an actor, how has your relationship with your body and your self-image influenced how you show up in your work in that realm?

Sara McKinley: Yeah, I feel not being stick thin and watching all of these people get cast that are, some things you – you can’t even change that about yourself. I’m never gonna be that skinny, even if I tried, which I shouldn’t. But there’s the body image that way.

And I think for me personally, my biggest insecurity is my double chin, and even just in self-tapes, having to position my camera in a certain way so that I don’t see myself having a double chin when I look back at it, you know? And some of that stuff nobody else even notices. It’s just you. Even me, I got my headshots last week, and looking at my headshot from my eyes, I’m like, “Well, that’s wrong, and that’s wrong, and I don’t like that, and I don’t like that.” And then having other people look at them and be like, “I don’t see any of that.” I think that’s the biggest thing is you have to get so used to seeing yourself and knowing that that’s not how other people are seeing you. It’s just how you, you, yourself, are seeing you, and you’re seeing all the parts that you don’t wanna see right away, that’s what stands out first.

So I think that’s the hardest thing is – sometimes I’m like, “Oh, well if I lost the extra 10, 20 pounds that I wanna lose, then maybe my double chin would go away.” But also, maybe it wouldn’t, you know?

Megan Gill: Yeah.

Sara McKinley: That doesn’t necessarily – that’s not necessarily something that’s gonna go away. That is just how we were built, you know?

And another chunk of conversation jumping to around the 17-minute and 40-second mark:

Megan Gill: I know that you have dealt with, in recent times, a lot of injury. You had injured your back, which is a big deal. I mean, I’m curious to know how, having gone through that and working through that, has also affected your relationship to your body or how you modified or navigated those times. Because injury, and especially as an actor too, when your physical body is such a part of your work, it has a big impact on how we could view ourselves too. So I’m curious to hear about your journey with that.

Sara McKinley: Yeah. Yeah, so I broke my back two years ago. I got a compression fracture in my T12s from falling off my horse. I was in a back brace for three months, which was hard because, one, I couldn’t really audition for three months because you can’t really book anything when you can’t bend or twist or lift. I talked to my agents, and I was like, “If it’s an audition for something far enough out, you can submit me to it. But generally –.” I think I did two auditions in my back brace. I was like, just throwing ‘em out there.

But yeah, it was hard because that year, so in January, I had hired a personal trainer, an online trainer, and I just started. I was gonna commit to figuring out my health issues, because I had chronic pain too, before that happened. And the funny thing is I actually made an appointment for physical therapy for my hips the day I broke my back, and I had to call them and be like, “Actually, I can’t go to physical therapy for my hips, because now I can’t do anything.”

And so, yeah, I was maybe two weeks into my workout program and tracking my food and everything, and I was like, well, now I’m in a back brace. Luckily, I worked it out with them that I could pause my program that I paid for and wait three months. But having that motivation and then being stuck with now you can’t move hardly at all for three months. And also wearing a back brace in public, it’s just not, it’s not attractive. So dealing with that too, it was hard.

I think the biggest thing is I’m really independent, so needing to ask for help and stuff was hard. Not being able to, I mean, just not being able to move very much. It was difficult, and honestly, it was really only for the first month that it was really that hard. I started to kind of phase out of the back brace in the last month and a half, but just even – I used to do background work, and I couldn’t even do background work because I was like, “They’re gonna make me sit in a hard chair for hours at a time where I’m gonna have to try to hide the back brace or all of this stuff.” And I was like, I just have to commit to not doing anything for several months. It was the beginning of the year, it was February, it was like, I know it’s pilot season, and I know there are auditions happening, and I’m not doing any of it. So that was frustrating. And then, yeah, just not being able to be active, and yeah. I could have eaten healthy while I was laying on a couch, but of course I didn’t, which surprisingly I wound up losing weight. But most of it was probably muscle because, you know, you wear a back brace for three months; you’re losing all of that core muscle that holds you up.

Yeah, I think the interesting thing is how motivated I was afterwards. I was back in the gym, I was back riding my horse right after three months.

Megan Gill: Wow.

Sara McKinley: I wound up being probably the fittest I’ve ever been that summer and fall, which helped a lot because I needed to build all that muscle back up. And then, of course, I wound up gaining 20 pounds back, but, you know, fluctuation, that’s how it goes.

Megan Gill: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I feel you.

Sara McKinley: But yeah, I think the hardest thing was just having to take a pause and feeling you couldn’t really do anything and you were just waiting for it to be better. And also just the frustrating thing of like, I’m already chronically ill, and I already have chronic pain, and now I have such a big injury to deal with on top of it. Yeah, it was not a great time. But, you know, I luckily recovered pretty well from it. I didn’t need surgery, and I just…

Megan Gill: Thank goodness.

Sara McKinley: Yeah, yeah. Honestly, I never even got my hospital bill, which is, which is good because they were saying that my insurance wasn’t taken at that hospital, so I just don’t question it.

Megan Gill: Yep. Nope. Perfect. Love that for you!

Sara McKinley: Yeah. I feel the only way it really affected my acting was not being able to do auditions. And that’s the hardest thing as an actor is you spend so much time waiting around for anything to begin with, and to have – I mean, at that point I had been in LA for almost five years, so you’re trying at any point to build any kind of momentum, so to have to stop is hard, when it’s not your choice, especially.

Megan Gill: Yeah. Yeah, I’m so sorry that happened, and I appreciate you for sharing about it. And also, I want to point out how, to go off of what you said about how you had so much motivation after the fact, how incredible that not only you healed so quickly, that your body was able to heal itself, and that you were able to just get back in it. Do you feel you had a different appreciation for the overall function of your body and what it can do for you after you had gone through that experience?

Sara McKinley: I think it’s hard because I already have such a not-great relationship with my body just because of the lack of functionality to begin with, of just I can’t get it to operate a lot of days just on a normal basis, just because of how I exist. But I think if I think about it, I’m like, wow, it’s crazy how well I healed from an injury like that when I feel so terrible on most days, you know? And yeah, it could have been so much worse. And the way I fell, I could have also shattered my pelvis, or I could have broken a bunch of things. And the fact that only one single vertebra was compressed and nothing else is kind of crazy.

So yeah. And I’m like, maybe, in a way – my body’s really hypermobile, which is part of my issues, and I’m like, maybe in a way that saved me a little bit when I fell. I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s a real thing or not, but yeah, I think the motivation was just like I don’t like not feeling strong, so what I can do is try to get stronger. So the fact that I couldn’t do that for three months, I think coming out of that I was like, now I need to, because if I don’t build back the muscle in my core, then I’m gonna continue to be in pain. Because I think, you know, building the muscle back up is what made the pain less afterwards, you know?

Megan Gill: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow. What an interesting piece to hear you say that maybe your hypermobility, which is something that causes you a lot of pain on a daily basis, could have potentially been something that saved you from a deeper injury.

Sara McKinley: Yeah.

Megan Gill: Whether that’s true or not, it’s really lovely that you have that thought about it and that like – I am so sorry that you suffer from chronic pain on a daily basis. I do not know what that’s like, and I have a lot of sympathy for you, and I’m just feeling for you in terms of how that goes. But I just love that you shared that and that you’re able to look at it from that perspective.

Hi, I’m Sara McKinley! I’m an actress, published author, former dog trainer and long time equestrian, originally from Ann Arbor, Michigan. I got my BFA in Acting from Michigan State University and have been in LA for almost 7 years now. I love to read, travel, hang out with my animals and do anything creative. I’m a huge MCU and fantasy fan, and I hope one day I get to play a role in something similar! My dream is to ride horses for movie productions or work with dogs on set, while also acting as well!

Follow Sara on Instagram!

Sara’s IMDb

Buy Sara’s (beautiful) book!

Sara’s Actors Access

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

A couple of notes to ensure this is a safe space for my guests to share their intimate and vulnerable body image stories in:

• These conversations are quite nuanced, complex, and oftentimes very vulnerable. Remember that everyone has their own body image story, and while someone else’s might look differently than yours, I encourage you to keep an open mind and stay empathetic.

• That being said, I welcome your support of my guests in the comments. Please be kind and considerate with your words.

• Thank you for being here. By sharing this type of content, my hope is to inspire collective reflection and cultural questioning. Thank you for supporting me in exploring the effects of our society’s beauty norms and body standards on human beings existing in today’s world.

Leave a comment

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might be interested in being a part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations!

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers.

I was so excited to host my second-ever event at my home yoga studio. I was looking forward to seeing my yoga pals and introducing everyone to my sign ◡̈

I had so many beautiful, deep, and powerful conversations this day - a bunch of people entered our raffle and shared what their favorite thing about their body was for the social media series. However, I also had some really beautiful off-camera conversations with members of the studio. It’s always such an intimate and beautiful thing to experience a person answering this question.

I want to extend my gratitude to those of you who stopped by to share with me this day and/or stopped by to chat about my mission and my message. People’s willingness to be vulnerable with me never goes unappreciated.

“What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body?”

LOCATION: YogaSix Redondo Beach

DATE: Saturday, May 30th, 2026

TIME: 8:30am-1:00pm

Answers I heard:

• My biceps

• My heart

• My creativity

• My grit

• My smile

• My eyes

• “That I’m hairless”

• My hair

• My legs

• My brain

• To connect my total wellness and to be able to do the things that I enjoy to do, and to be able to stay healthy

• That it’s mine!

• My manubrium

• My private parts

• Its resilience

• That I can dance with my friends

• My skin

• My neck

• What it’s capable of

• That it’s able to function

The theme that stuck out to me the most:

• My smile

• My eyes

First-Time Responses:

• My manubrium

• My grit

• My private parts

Powerful responses that stood out:

• That I can dance with my friends

• That it’s able to function

Stand out words of encouragement:

• There was A TON of supportive words shared about what I’m doing with my sign. It was truly wonderful to hear and just another reminder that this project is important and needed.

Patterns I noticed:

• I don’t know if it’s because I know so many people at my home studio or because the community at Y6RB is so wonderful, but there was so much less resistance than I’m used to. A lot of people came over to answer my question and hear about what I was doing with my project.

I am, yet again, incredibly grateful to Sara Krish for bringing me into the space, to the owners of Y6 RB, Blaine and Jodi, for allowing me to pop-up, and to Christina and Breanne for helping me set up and keeping me company while classes were in session. Thank you all for helping me spread my message into our collective yoga space ❤️

I decided not to reflect after this experience, because a majority of the people I’d spoken with had agreed to be featured as part of the social media series!

My favorite thing about my body that day was… my smile! And my bodys ability to carry me through each hot yoga class at YogaSix.

More pop-ups to come! And more sign days on the street to come as well! I can’t wait to continue to do this work.

As always, I’ll leave you with this: What’s your favorite thing about your body?

❤️‍🔥Megan

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might want to be part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.

Everyone please welcome Evan Neilson to Continued Conversations! Evan is my very first male guest on this series!!! Evan and I were connected through his sister, Megan Neilson (who I’ve known for many years now), and I’m so grateful he was open to chatting body image in the arts with me! Evan comes from the high school and college theatre world, as do I, and he is now an educator with special ed students and still works within the arts and performs today. Our self-image stories of growing up as young kids and coming into adulthood were oddly aligned, so it was truly a joy to dive into this topic with Evan.

In our conversation, we discuss…

• Being the token “non-thin” (or, as we said in the nineties, “husky”) role both onstage and in real life in high school

• The intersection of thin bodies being cast in leading roles and Evan’s journey with that very experience both in his acting and in his real life - and flipping that on me, where I share my story with this exact experience as well

• The dieting industry and the explosion of social media impacting our self-image as young people

• The freshman 15, a negative/toxic “grindset” in college, and the competition amongst male friend groups when it comes to fitness

• The college environment driving Evan to adopt disordered eating habits

• The lack of education on how to best fuel our bodies: “All food is better than no food”

• Moving out of the all-or-nothing mindset when it comes to food and exercise

• Rewiring our brains to be kinder to ourselves and our bodies

• Leading from a place of grace and care and joy - and most importantly, by example of being true and genuine to yourself

• Supporting kids (and all people) operating at medium capacity instead of 100% evry single day

• The harmful impacts of “looksmaxxing” on men in our current society

Evan is a joy of a gentleman, and I have been thinking about this conversation ever since we recorded. There are so many important points we touched on here. We opened the book and talked through a lot of poignant themes within body image specifically when it comes to the male experience, and I cannot wait for you to hear our very important conversation!

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Below is a text insert of our conversation that stuck with me, starting at around the 30-minute and 55-second mark:

Evan Neilson: I don’t know who said it or where I heard it from, but it’s been in my brain more recently is those moments where either you say something unkind to yourself, or you think, “Oh, maybe I don’t need this,” or, “Yeah, maybe I want this, but I’m not gonna get it.” Everyone in the arts community, especially, we all want to put good out there into the world and be good people to be around. You are also a person, you know? You are also a person to be nice to, and so, you being nice to yourself will have as much, if not more, of an impact compared to you being nice to another. And so, that goes beyond just body stuff, but just, you know, doing things that you like, doing stuff that brings yourself joy.

Going back to hustle culture, you know, I’m on spring break, and I’m like, I just feel so – what am I – what can I be doing right now? I’m wasting this time. And then it’s like, oh, there are actually many things I enjoy doing that are just as helpful for me in the long term and in the short term than me doing something that feels more productive or important, what have you. Yeah.

Megan Gill: Yeah, it’s rewiring our brains.

Evan Neilson: Kind of. Kind of, yeah. And it just takes time. It really does take a lot of time. And thinking back to – I’m not in therapy currently, but I did a little bit of therapy after getting outta school. Not to focus on the body stuff, because I had therapy for a couple of years during school. It was more focused on my anxiety. My anxiety got really bad right after finishing school. And I actually learned that’s kind of a common thing is right after you graduate college, your worries become less about your grades – your worries about your grades go away, and then it becomes, “I think I’m gonna get murdered,” you know? That’s what it turned into for me, for whatever reason.

And so, I was going and seeing a therapist for that, and once we kind of started to finish up, you know, for whatever reason, a few months in, he was like, “It’s interesting.” Even at that point, he was like, “You’ll say, ‘I struggle with my body,’ but that’s good. I’m done with that now.’” I still, at that point, was kind of pushing it away like, you know, a box that you don’t wanna unpack, you know, in the basement or whatever. I was still kind of treating it that way.

But now, with just some more distance and looking back on it, and then yeah, thinking about it in the sense of I treated myself that way, in the same way you think about if I treated another person that way. It’s like, have grace for yourself and patience, but also like, yeah, it’s fucked up I did that.

So I’m at that point now where more stuff is maybe – with some more distance, I can kind of process and intellectualize things a little bit more. Again, not always the best thing to do, to intellectualize your feelings and your body and stuff, but I feel like I’m at a point now where I think just the more and more experience I have in working with students that, you know, frankly, have way more difficult and complicated lives than I had as a child. Those things that you say to them or things that you want them to understand or process, they start to make their way back to you, eventually, as the teacher.

And so, yeah, now I think working in special ed where some students may have learning disabilities, some students come from an emotionally difficult home, so they struggle to regulate their emotions in the school environment and stuff. Again, going back to internalizing a bunch of stuff you saw as a kid, you know, I’m trying to put messages out there, and the other people I work with are trying to put messages out there to kids. And some of that stuff does start to, you know, work back to you.

Like, for example, I have a colleague who’s just awesome, an xperienced special ed teacher. She’s firm in expectations, but also is just the most gentle person. She started throwing out there at least medium effort as an expectation, where, yeah, we’ve been told that we need to do as much as we possibly can at every second, operate on 100%, you know, capacity. But it’s like, not every day is gonna be that. I feel like I’ve said that to – I’ve said, “Not every day is gonna be an 100% day,” to kids, a lot. But then when you start to take in what it means yourself, as a, you know – I mean, I’m almost 26, so again, I am an adult. I’m almost there. In a few years, I’ll be there. Yeah, if you’re operating at 50% capacity, that’s okay.

Megan Gill: Yeah.

Evan Neilson: Especially if you already worked the previous day or, you know, have other stuff going on. Not every day is gonna be your, your rockstar day, and that’s fine. Fill that space with, you know, the more joyful things you want to do and that kind of stuff.

Megan Gill: Yeah, because joy is so important, for sure. And also, we have to give ourselves grace. We have to give our bodies grace. We have to give our minds grace. And I think that that’s so, so wonderful that you and your colleague are putting that information out there, especially planting it in young people’s minds. I’m curious to know if there’s anything else that – everything that you had gone through in terms of your upbringing and your relationship to your physical body, if there’s anything else like that that you are doing with your students or things that are a part of your story that you’re trying to almost give back to the young people you’re working with today, in a sense.

Evan Neilson: Yeah, I mean, like anybody who became a teacher, you have the teachers you think back on. It’s like, okay, I really would like to emulate what those guys were doing for me and my peers. And going along with that, you have the bad ones. And it’s like, okay, I definitely do not want to emulate that person. So that’s a thing for me, for sure. I think for, I mean, now obviously all young people need a boost, need our help, need everything we can give them. But young men, you know, these guys aren’t gonna see as many male teachers coming up through high school and stuff, just given the political state of things and how easy all these guys can get ensnared into this stuff, you know, and just try to show – well, unfortunately, I’m not really allowed to make, you know, soapbox political stuff in the classroom, even though, you know, I may like to.

I’m trying to show a more realistic – I don’t know if realistic is the right word, but, you know, not traditionally masculine in the classic Hollywood sense. But, so just being someone who, you know, is willing to look silly. That’s a big part of being a teacher. You know, showing them that you can make a fool of yourself. I’m pretty open with the passions I’m into, so there is a student who is very much hyper-fixating on Hamilton right now. And so, for me, I’ve moved on, but at that time, for me, it was very intense. Ask anybody I know. The Hamilton era for me was extremely intense. So given that, you know, I’m like, oh yeah, I know everything you’re talking about, this girl who’s kind of just getting into it. Then yeah, trying to just keep a cool head in situations. You know, just these young men that just get so angry, that are angry at themselves, angry at, you know, authority figures in their lives, angry at politicians or whoever else, just trying to show them to accept things and, of course, be be kind and loving to the women in their lives as well.

I mean, going back to this line of gender, really just not how I’ll talk to a female student or a male student. I’m the same calm person, and for these kids of the school that I’m at, you know, these are kids that struggle to get to school, many of them. And so, I’m gonna do everything I can to get them to want to come back. So, you know, be someone who is – you know, I think back. I had a couple, like – yeah, sometimes elementary school teachers, they get weirdly comfortable, and they’ll make a weird comment about your belly or something. Like, those are things that stuck with me, you know?

Megan Gill: Yeah.

Evan Neilson: I was getting in a costume for, it was a musical or a school play or something. And my belly got poked, and she was like, “Just watch that, there.” There was a poke. I’m certain there was a poke. So I mean, yeah, no it’s crazy.

Megan Gill: An educator.

Evan Neilson: Yeah. It wasn’t my teacher, but it was someone who was helping with the school play, or something like that.

Megan Gill: Still!

Evan Neilson: They were like, “We want to make sure this costume stays on you, buddy.” You know, that kind of thing. And so, I’m probably overly cautious to a lot of these issues, but it’s better than the alternative, you know?

Megan Gill: Absolutely. I think we need some more of that, you know?

Evan Neilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just drawing those clear boundaries, you know, and yeah, just showing kids what the right things are to say, and the right ways to respond in situations and what the clearly wrong ways are. And yeah, so just doing what I can to – you know, I mean, it’s tough for these young guys, you know, in this very – going back to, I mean, this is a whole can of worms, but right-wing politics and body standards, there’s some synergy there.

Megan Gill: Yep. There sure is.

Evan Neilson: So, trying to communicate all of that with my eyes and not being able to say it, you know, as much as possible.

Megan Gill: You’re like, “I am transmuting messages to you right now, from my brain to your brain!”

Evan Neilson: I really try to. I really try to.

Megan Gill: Yeah. That’s gotta be tough, though, to not be able to maybe, as an educator, educate on things that are so important to us, you know? Because it’s not the place in a school. That’s tough. It’s gotta be tough.

Evan Neilson: Yeah. Yeah. It’s a tough time right now for educators. Yeah, I mean, for me, you know, I think, yeah, you really can just try and embody your political views and how you see the world just by the way you act, right? So yeah, I don’t know. I’m in a school where we’re really just happy that they’re there, and we’re so thrilled and happy to get them to the finish line of graduation that I couldn’t see how anybody who, you know – I couldn’t see anybody who is okay with everything going on in this school environment that is all about, you know, picking these kids up that really need it, really need it, and don’t have the support at home. And somehow, SNAP benefits and free school lunch, that became a talking point within the last few months. And all these, all these kids get that. And just being sure to not make different obstacles that students go through, not trying to, you know, have those things be the kids’ defining features. And yeah, just being that kind, calm person every day. That’s always kind of the goal. And yeah, specifically thinking about body image and all that. At this point, I’m feeling very body neutral, body neutral-positive right now. So I’m just trying to communicate that with my eyes, as I said.

Evan is a special education teacher and lover of many things- movies, theatre, music, dogs, basketball, running, biking… OH, and ice cream! Outside of the classroom, one could often find him at the movie theater if he’s not busy coaching speech team or working on a stage production.

Evan doesn’t post much on socials but feel free to give him a follow on Twitter @hellomrevan (he will never call it X) or on Letterboxd @evan_neil.

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

A couple of notes to ensure this is a safe space for my guests to share their intimate and vulnerable body image stories in:

• These conversations are quite nuanced, complex, and oftentimes very vulnerable. Remember that everyone has their own body image story, and while someone else’s might look differently than yours, I encourage you to keep an open mind and stay empathetic.

• That being said, I welcome your support of my guests in the comments. Please be kind and considerate with your words.

• Thank you for being here. By sharing this type of content, my hope is to inspire collective reflection and cultural questioning. Thank you for supporting me in exploring the effects of our society’s beauty norms and body standards on human beings existing in today’s world.

Leave a comment

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might be interested in being a part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations!

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers.

On Monday, May 25th, I took my sign down to Fiesta Hermosa to remind us all, if you look hard enough, there is at least one thing we can appreciate about our bodies.

I wasn’t sure if I’d end up making it down to Fiesta Hermosa with my sign. But as the weekend unfolded, I was inspired to take it down on Monday afternoon. I chose a cute, on-brand outfit, put on some sunscreen, grabbed my sign, packed my bag, and left to walk down to the pier. It’s about two miles all in to get down there, and the sun was shining. It was a beautiful day for a walk.

On my walk down towards the beach, a gentleman in passing asked what my sign said. I showed him, and he said his mind. Then, at the next stoplight he asked why I had the sign and what I was doing. He told me we need more of this, then asked what mine was. I told him it was my big heart.

I took the strand from 190th all the way down to the pier. When I arrived, I assessed the best spot to post up and settled on the crosswalk at Pier Ave. & Hermosa Ave. I’d stood here before, but it was different this time because the streets were closed off to the vendors of the festival.

A girl hopped over to me and said her smile.

Share about the first man to approach me.

Share about the first woman to approach me.

Talk about a rundown of how the day went overall.

I took some time after my time on the street to reflect after the experience and wrote down those that I remembered most:

“What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body?”

LOCATION: Fiesta Hermosa, Hermosa Beach, CA

DATE: Monday, May 25th, 2026

TIME: 1:30-4:30pm

Answers I heard:

• My eyes

• My ears

• Everything!

• My boobs

• My smile

• My height

• My heart

• My mind

• My hair

• My energy

• My shoulders

• My freckles

• My red hair

• My biceps

• My feet

• My calves

• My nose

• My face

• My curves

The theme that stuck out to me the most:

• A lot of people said their eyes

• My long limbs

First-Time Responses:

• My forearms

• My hip dips

• Two younger kids stopped over. One said his elbow dexterity, and the other said the way his knee was formed.

Powerful responses that stood out:

• One woman shared her legs are both her least afvorite and most favorite thing.

• A gentleman told me his was his kidney, because he’d lost one to a rupture while he was playing sports in high school and shared

Stand out words of encouragement:

• “Keep up the good work”

• “Oh, cute!”

My chosen place to reflect: I chose to go get food with some friends that I ran into. It had been a bit of a weekend, and I needed to be around people. I took a few notes during my time out on the street and reflected the following evening.

My favorite thing about my body that day was my big heart. I’m so thankful that I care as much as I do - about myself, about others, about my work. My ability to hold love for as much as I do never ceases to amaze me.

As always, keep your eyes peeled for more of this!!!

And, per usual, I’ll leave you with: What’s your favorite thing about your body?

❤️‍🔥Megan

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might want to be part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.

Everyone please welcome Mallory Gonyea to Continued Conversations! Mallory and I met through The Spark Membership (shoutout Amy McNabb for bringing us together!), and I’m so grateful she was willing to sit down with me for a body image conversation.

In our conversation, we discuss…

• Existing at the intersection of being an artist and an athlete

• Rebuilding trust with your body after an injury

• How to manage when our work/sport is so closely tied to our identity, and the ability to execute our work/sport is stripped from us

• Mallory’s journey growing up a tomboy and connecting to her femininity and working to appreciate her body

• Because of today’s beauty standards (especially in Hollywood), Mallory grappling with the feeling like she has to choose between her career and a healthy body

• Working out and lifting weights for bodily longevity and strength as we age

• The implications of weight loss drugs on our whole system

• Representing your body type in this art form in hopes of showing a young person out there that their body, too, is good

• Mallory’s thoughts on how current female superhero roles are cast

• Taking up space as women, in our lives and in our art

• Helping other women see that strong is beautiful

Mallory is a Nashville-based actress who recently started her own production company. She also used to be a semi-pro soccer player, so her understanding of her body and self-image runs deep. Mallory dropped so many incredible tidbits in our chat - I was blown away by her knowledge of the body, and I cannot wait for you to hear our conversation!

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Below is a text insert of our conversation that stuck with me, starting at around the 4-minute and 32-second mark:

Megan Gill: To call yourself an athlete, and then to have your body betray you in this way, and have something completely, like you said, out of your control happen to your body and then have to have to grapple with that is, I can only imagine….

Mallory Gonyea: Like I said, it’s something that you build your identity on, right? And it’s like, I know this about myself. I know I am strong. So when you are no longer strong, when you’re stripped of that, you’re like, okay, this thing that I found value in the thing that I found my worth in is gone. You’re like, well, how do I – where’s my value? Where’s my worth, then?

I came out of the womb an athlete, very strong. If you look at my baby pictures, I had muscle definition, right? And being a woman, back when we were – I was born in ‘97, so grew up in the 2000s, right, where skinny was seen as beautiful. And it was the time where it was like, what do they call it, “heroin chic” was the in thing, right? And so, I was growing up where I’m just naturally strong, naturally a muscular woman. And I had to do a lot of learning on how to find that beautiful. And so, when that gets taken away, you’re like, well, what am I now, right?

So that’s kind of been just a whole journey for me, like my whole life growing up, of grappling with finding my identity and being strong, but also still not that being the accepted thing. And so, when that is taken from you, when that is your crutch of like, well, I’m gonna lean into being a strong woman, an athletic woman, and then that’s stripped away as well, it’s just huge mind – you know?

Megan Gill: Oh my gosh, yes. It’s like not only have you – and I don’t mean to speak for you, but I’m curious about all of the work you did with yourself mentally to accept your physical body, your athletic body as an athlete, and then to have put in all of the work to get to a place with that. But to have done all of the mental gymnastics, to get to this place of like, ah, okay, this is my body, and I am an athlete and I can play this incredible sport with my body. And then to have it, like you said, stripped away and then to have to like do mental gymnastics times two. What was that journey like for you coming out of that?

Mallory Gonyea: Well, yeah, to be completely vulnerable and honest with you, I was never like this girly girl, or this, you know, little princess, and I found my identity and my worth in what my body could do, not necessarily what it looked like. So I really leaned into the tomboy-ness of it and the, well, I don’t have to look pretty if I’m a strong athlete, right?

I don’t have to try to be feminine. I can just be me, and it can be focused on what I’m good at.

All my teammates growing up, they loved going shopping for makeup and they loved doing all these girly things, and I just never identified with that, or I don’t think I ever felt safe to. I didn’t feel comfortable in my femininity. And honestly, I’m still on this journey. I’m still learning how to love this body that I’m in. It’s been a whole journey of never quite feeling like I fit anywhere. But if I can be really good at something and if I have something to bring to the table, well, then that’s fine. It doesn’t matter how I look.

But then when you pivot into the acting industry, when you find out that that’s completely different, that the whole industry is based off of looks right, and you grow up and you see all these movies that are about athletes. Well, if you look at the ones that are about male athletes, they’re ripped. They’re very strong. They’re shredded. You look at these female athletes, they don’t match what I’m seeing in the real world, right? I always was between a size two and a six, and I still felt too big to play an athlete on screen. I didn’t see myself represented in the women who were playing athletes on screen. And I think we’ve gotten better, but we’re still a long ways away from that, right? It’s like, “Oh, well she shouldn’t be too muscular because we don’t want her to be too bulky.” Where it’s like you look at any of the women athletes in the world, they have muscle. They have to have muscle to be doing the things that they’re doing. And for some reason, Hollywood has equated thinness with being athletic, and that’s just not true.

Megan Gill: Yeah.

Mallory Gonyea: And so, I have found myself in a battle recently of like, okay, I’m no longer a competitive athlete, but I’m still an athlete, and I’m still constantly – even at my fittest, when I was a size two or four and really lean, I still felt like I needed to lose ten pounds. Like, “If I lose ten pounds, this will help me get cast,” or, you know, I see all these young, pretty, thin girls are the ones that are getting cast. And it’s like how am I super fit and super, you know, proud of my athleticness, but also wanting to not be that way.

Megan Gill: Yeah.

Mallory Gonyea: So it’s a constant battle of how do I stop myself from feeling like I need to be something other than myself.

Megan Gill: Right. Gosh, because as actors, it’s so important, in my opinion, to bring ourselves to the work that we do obvi – whether you are producing, directing, acting (especially when you’re acting) because that character that’s being brought to life through you is only the way that they are because it’s you, because you are the one playing the role. And that’s the beauty of humanity. That’s the beauty of being able to act and why everybody brings something different to like the same role or the same character.

Mallory Gonyea: Absolutely.

Megan Gill: And if we are so disconnected from ourselves in that sense and just trying to fight who we naturally are, it’s so not beneficial.

Mallory Gonyea: I would have to quite literally be malnourished to ever get to some of these sizes that we have glorified as a society, right? And I don’t want to do that. Me, personally, my grandmother, at the end of her life, she was bedridden because she did not take care of herself physically. She didn’t lift weights. She had had a stroke, and she didn’t do the rehab and the physical therapy that she needed. And I’ve seen that, and I can’t unsee that. And that’s what’s so concerning to me about this emphasis on becoming smaller as women, not just to take up less space, but it’s like we need muscle.

When we’re in our thirties, we start losing muscle and collagen and all these other things that are so important, so quickly. And if we are not strength training, if we are not trying to be strong, we are gonna lose independence. I’ve seen it happen, and it takes off years of your life. And so, I’m always having to grapple with, do I have to choose between my career a healthy body. And it’s like I don’t want to do that, right? It’s like how do we find space for both? And I do think that we are getting better. We’re starting to see more stories of women of all shapes and sizes, and we’re starting to see stories of actual athletic women, which is great, but it is concerning that we still always somehow circle back to thinness and smallness.

Megan Gill: Yeah, I could not agree more with all of that. And, my god, just thank you for sharing that about your grandmother as well, because I know that that’s a really hard truth to reckon with, and to watch somebody that you love and you’re close to and is a part of your family, go through that and to have the rude awakening of like, I don’t want that for myself and the people that I love, and it starts now, it starts when we’re young – yeah, yeah. There’s a lot in that.

And I can also very much relate to that for myself. I move my body now because it feels good to do that. It helps me mentally. But also because I don’t want to be in my sixties and seventies and fall and hurt myself, you know?

Mallory Gonyea: Right. Yeah, a lot of older people, they end up with broken hips because they don’t have that muscle, or they fall and they can’t get themselves up. A squat, right? That is that movement of sitting down and getting up, you know? Or, god forbid, having grandkids one day and not being able to pick them up. People don’t realize that is not just for aesthetics, right?

Megan Gill: Right.

Mallory Gonyea: It’s for being able to do the everyday things that you want to be able to do into, hopefully, your seventies and your eighties. I mean, I still want to be moving in my nineties, maybe resting a little bit more, but still wanting to be able to move, not needing to ask for help to go to the bathroom. It’s the simple things, right?

Megan Gill: It’s so true. It’s like we are taught to work out to look smaller, to look thin, when in reality, we should be taught to work out for mobility purposes, for longevity, for our general health and wellness and strength. And I think that a lot of what I’ve been doing recently is literally rewiring my brain in terms of that because we were just so inundated and conditioned, especially in the heroin chic era. And I grew up in the nineties and two thousands as well, and just all of the messages we’ve received as small children, and just it takes so much to undo that.

And it is really sad to see, like what you were saying, how now Hollywood, as an industry, is very small, and a lot of the women are just shrinking before our eyes. I feel like this is just a known fact at this point, unfortunately, and it just hard to see because it’s like, god, we went through – okay, the millennials and gen Z people went through this. We went through the ringer. And I would hope that like the kids growing up today would have more of a different experience. And I do think in some ways, like you were saying, they’ll have a different experience than we did in some positive ways. But at the same time, it’s like, god, now they’re watching the Oscars and seeing all these teeny, tiny actresses. We are – we’re somehow all the way back at square one. And then I’m just like fearing for the people growing up now and fearing that they’re gonna be in their twenties and thirties having to decondition themselves of all of the shit that we have to decondition ourselves of too you know? And it’s just really hard to sit with that. It’s really heartbreaking.

Mallory Gonyea: You’re like, “Oh, do I need to also opt into that in order to be cast? Is that now the new standard?” And I’m like, I don’t want any part of that. Because what they don’t tell you about the drugs that everybody are taking to get that thin is that it’s not stripping you of fat, it’s stripping you of – I mean, yes it is stripping you of fat, but it’s stripping you of muscle as well. And we need muscle to function and to live. And I do believe that there is a place for those medications in a medical setting because they were designed for that. But when they become commercial and public use to – what’s the word I’m looking for – to promote and advertise thinness, it’s scary and yeah. I’m like, okay, what are we doing here? You know, even sitting in that two-to-six range. And I go back to growing up, they told Kate Winslet – stunning, beautiful, never fat – that she was fat. And I’m like what are we doing here? It’s just – yeah, it’s very concerning.

Mallory Gonyea is an award winning actress, writer, and producer based out of Nashville, Tennessee. As a former semi-pro athlete, she has built a career centered around strong, complex female characters, bringing a unique blend of physicality, emotional depth, and authenticity to her work. She is also the founder of Eden Pictures, and independent production company focused on creating bold, female centered stories. Outside of filmmaking, Mallory embraces loving her body by training in CrossFit and Boxing and is passionate about encouraging women to embrace strength, confidence, and overall wellness.

Follow Mallory on Instagram

Check out Mallory’s IMDb

Read Mallory’s Bold Journey Article

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

A couple of notes to ensure this is a safe space for my guests to share their intimate and vulnerable body image stories in:

• These conversations are quite nuanced, complex, and oftentimes very vulnerable. Remember that everyone has their own body image story, and while someone else’s might look differently than yours, I encourage you to keep an open mind and stay empathetic.

• That being said, I welcome your support of my guests in the comments. Please be kind and considerate with your words.

• Thank you for being here. By sharing this type of content, my hope is to inspire collective reflection and cultural questioning. Thank you for supporting me in exploring the effects of our society’s beauty norms and body standards on human beings existing in today’s world.

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Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might be interested in being a part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations!

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers.

My friend and teacher at YogaSix Redondo Beach (my home studio) asked if I’d be interested in taking my sign to their sister location for a pop-up. I was SO EXCITED. We were in talks of planning a day for me to pop-up at my home studio, but the chance to take my message into Rolling Hills first, a studio I have yet to step foot into, was so exciting for me.

I drove 20 minutes to Y6 RH, and I walked in to set up. Annie, the wonderful human working the front desk, helped me get set up.

Just as I put the finishing touches on getting my table all set, people started trickling in.

I had taken my sign to the streets multiple times before, but a pop-up? With a table? This was new for me. Erika, my roommate, asked me the evening prior if I was nervous at all, and I said that I was more excited than anything - which tells me I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

This was so different from any other sign days because I was inside a yoga studio and there were only a select few people that were in each class. Everyone was so generous with their shares, and I am so grateful to all who answered my question. It was fun having downtime between classes to reflect and chat with Annie, the girliepop working the front desk. My good friend Megan even stopped by for a visit! They both shared their favorite things about their bodies for social media too - so keep an eye out for those ◡̈

I took some time after my time at the yoga studio to reflect on the experience and wrote down those that I remembered most:

“What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body?”

LOCATION: YogaSix Rolling Hills

DATE: Friday, May 15th, 2026

TIME: 8:45am-1:45pm

Answers I heard:

• My eyes

• My heart

• My brain

• My smile

• My legs

• My height

• My cheeks/face

• My mole

• My biceps

• My strength to power me through class

• “I paid good money for my boobs. But I also love my butt, and my body birthed my children.”

• “My brain - it’s the one thing I can’t look in the mirror and criticize.”

The theme that stuck out to me the most:

• A lot of people said their eyes

First-Time Responses:

• My fearlessness (LOVED this one)

• My liver

• My body can do this (standing head-to-big-toe pose)

Powerful responses that stood out:

• One woman, Jessica, said she had too many to count. She started sharing about how she birthed her children through a C-section and her body healed from that. She’d broken a hip at 12 years old, and still fully developed, though her mom told her (once she was older) that the doctors said she might not. She also shared that she used to be over 100 pounds heavier and had lost a lot of weight. She shared that learning breathwork through her hot yoga practice at YogaSix truly changed her life.

• A gentleman said his mole on his face, because he used to want to get rid of it. But the people close to him in his life told him to keep it, and he did. And now it’s his favorite thing about his body.

Various groups that approached me:

• Two yoga besties shared that their favorite thing was they could each hold a leg up in the air. They were so cute and agreed to be on video doing the action and sharing with me.

Stand out words of encouragement:

• One of the winners of the raffle, Sheila, let me know after the fact, “That totally made my day. I loved the pop-up and really appreciated the reminder to be more compassionate toward my body ❤️”

Patterns I noticed:

• A few women, in particular, shared that they didn’t have anything that they liked - only things they didn’t like. Like usual, I reminded them that they either were taking or just took a yoga class, and how incredible their body could power them through class.

I am beyond grateful to Sara Krish for bringing me into the space, to the owners of Y6 RH, Blaine and Jodi, for allowing me to pop-up, and to Annie for helping me set up and being a ray of sunshine to spend the day with. Thank you all for helping me spread my message into your yoga space ❤️

My chosen place to reflect: Japonica, Hermosa Beach. After I went home to let Mary Jane out, I took myself to happy hour at Japonica in HB. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to do this work and to take myself on a special little date after the fact to relish in the goodness and really soak in everyone’s answers.

My favorite thing about my body that day was… my flexibility - Y6 has contributed to my ability to deepen that, and I am so grateful my body can stretch in the many ways that it can.

Stay tuned for another pop-up coming very, very soon!!

I’ll leave you with this: What’s your favorite thing about your body?

❤️‍🔥Megan

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might want to be part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.

Everyone, please welcome Kelsey Cally to Continued Conversations! Kelsey and I met in an acting class here in Los Angeles, and she’s since moved back to Chicago, which is fun since I’d spent a few years in the city myself and adore it so much. Kelsey is a stunning actor, director, teacher, and human, and she has a lot to say about body image, especially when it comes to being an actor.

The way Kelsey works with her students to become present in their bodies and accept where they are right here, right now is powerful. She speaks about shifting the body narrative to one of joy and talks about the importance of representing other women who have our similar body types through our art, whether on stage or on screen. Kelsey’s story inspired me, and I hope that her thoughts and offerings inspire you too.

In our conversation, we discuss…

• Her earliest memories of body image were witnessing how her mother (who was a dancer) would speak about her own body and dealing with people commenting on her red hair and freckles

• Shifting the mindset that your body is your own and no longer letting other people’s opinions dictate what you do with it

• Sharing with others how you feel about your body might just be how we start to accept our bodies and find self-love

• Working with actors on self-acceptance and shifting the narrative to joy

• Representing other women who have similar body types to you onstage and on screen

• Understanding that, as women, our bodies are constantly shifting due to our cycle and our hormones and educating more people (and young people) about this

• Arriving to where you are, in your body and psyche, when performing

• Living in your imperfections, as an artist and a human

• Kelsey takes her responsibility of holding her position as a leader very seriously

• Understanding the power of your example when in a position of leadership, whether that’s as a mother or as a teacher or as a director

• Learning how to trust yourself in your artistry

• Using wardrobe as play

Kelsey does not hold her role as a leader lightly. She understands the power she holds when spearheading a project or mentoring a room of students and makes it a priority to set a good example. I’m just in awe at the way Kelsey moves about the world, as a person and an artist, and I cannot wait for you to hear our conversation!

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Below is a text insert of our conversation that stuck with me, starting at around the 28-minute and 33-second mark:

Kelsey Cally: Yeah, I’ll start by saying I take my position – and I even giggle as I say, a leader, because I feel as if I didn’t consciously choose this necessarily. I always say I fell into teaching. That’s what I tell people. I didn’t mean to be a teacher, but it accidentally happened, and I really love it so much. And with that, I take my responsibility of holding that position of leadership – now I’m getting emotional, my god. I take my responsibility of holding that position very seriously. Because I’m not really doing it for me. And what I mean by that is that I don’t crave control. I don’t crave, “I’m the most important person in this room. Everyone listen to me.” In fact, I reject that with my full being, and almost sometimes I have to be like, “Kelsey, you are the one holding the space for everyone, so you do kind of have to be in charge right now.” And I do when I’m in that space, I won’t make you feel like, “What am I doing?”

But so your question means a lot because I very consciously make sure – let me see. I have two parts to this. I very consciously choose my words about myself when I’m using myself as an example in class, which is often, mainly because I don’t wanna reflect anything to – I don’t want anyone to feel they have to be perfect. That’s the best way I can say it. And that starts by me, how I treat myself and how I show up too. So if I’m allowing myself not to be perfect in the space, it gives others freedom not to be perfect in the space. And again, I even hate that word “perfect,” necessarily. Maybe more if I’m accepting myself, where I am that day, in the space very openly, it gives everyone else freedom to accept themselves that way in that space very openly. And that is what is most important to me in the room I am in. I love the medium of acting and the craft, and that’s what I’ve done since I was six years old. I’ve been lucky enough to do it this long, and so, that is the thing I teach. I think, though, in any lifetime, I may have been a teacher. I don’t know if it’s always been acting, but I think in some sort of way, I’ve always been a teacher. It just has fallen on me naturally. So again, I take that very seriously, the example I’m setting.

And, like I said earlier, a ton of my conversation with people, especially in this medium, again, which is very physical, and we are often looking at ourselves and consuming our own work or being perceived by others, right? I work a lot on the stage. I come from the world of stage. So you aren’t necessarily watching your own work, but you are being perceived, sometimes by a room of 30, sometimes by a room of thousands, depending on what you’re doing. So there has to be a level of acceptance of being perceived as well, which goes back to what you were talking about earlier of it’s not just snap your fingers and I accept myself, and here you go. And maybe it is for some people, I don’t know. If it is for you, how exciting to have ease in that. But it’s a lot of work behind the scenes, and daily work behind the scenes, and it can look different all the time. Sometimes it’s an internal conversation with self. Sometimes it’s journaling. Sometimes it is consuming work that inspires you because you see a reflection of yourself.

So a lot of my work with students is, yeah, getting them to that level of allowance and acceptance in self. And then once we get there, arriving to character, is that much more free, or sometimes it could be the opposite way. Sometimes it could be a character that is first inspiring, and then the work is allowing yourself to assume that. Yeah, I hope that answered…

Megan Gill: Oh, absolutely. It’s so lovely. That was – yes, so beautiful. And there are a couple things here that are jumping out to me. First, the parallel between you setting the example for the people that you are working with and teaching and leading and directing, Ms. Leader, you’re just reminding me of the way that you, as a young person, you were looking at your mom and looking at her as the example, and not saying that one is good and one is bad at all, by any means, but that’s just really lovely parallel that’s jumping out to me. Wow, so much of it is just by example, and I even find myself in front of my friends and my people,

I am now aware of how I speak about myself.

Kelsey Cally: Yes.

Megan Gill: And even sometimes I’m joking, and I’ll say something – I said something joking about my booty last night, and my girlfriend that’s staying with me – Chloé Godard!

Kelsey Cally: Oh, Chloé!

Megan Gill: You know her! She’s staying with me right now, and she was like, “Do not talk about my friend that way.” And I was like – yeah, even at this point, my friends are calling me out if I’m even saying something in a very jokingly manner. But I too try to lead by example in the spaces that I’m in, because I do think it affects people, and I do think that negativity breeds more negativity and if we can just – I also hate the word positivity, but it’s if we can just speak with more kindness about our physical vessels, then hopefully the people that are around us are either taken aback by that like, “Hmm, maybe I should try that too,” or they just inadvertently take it in, and you just never know how it could impact people. So I think that is so wonderful.

Kelsey Cally: I don’t know why I just thought of this, but I’m reflecting back to a student. So for a minute, I was coaching a lot, and I still do, but there’s one pocket of time where I was coaching a lot of people for school auditions. A big age range. But this person I’m thinking of was, I believe, 16 when we started working together, and they were working towards college auditions. And also, this kind of applies to young college kids as well. Maybe you experienced this in musical theater, the “look,” right, that you have to have – this specific look when auditioning. I remember just never understanding that, really. I don’t know, when I don’t understand things, then sometimes I’m just like, “Meh, I’m not gonna do it,” me personally. But this was early on in my coaching career, and I was working with this young person, and they were reflecting back to me something they had learned from another coach or another teacher about, “When I audition, I have to wear an A-line dress and heels or whatever and their hair in a certain way. I can think back to the era of 2013, and it was a very specific style dress and…

Megan Gill: Literally yes. I’m having flashbacks.

Kelsey Cally: You know what I mean? I’m pretty sure you’ve talked about this before.

Megan Gill: Yep.

Kelsey Cally: And I remember just talking about this young person, I remember looking them dead in the eye, and I was like, “You don’t have to do that.” And they were like, “What?” And they were so young, and everything older people said was so impactful to them, which is why it is so important to understand the power your words have when you’re working in that way, or your actions have when you’re coaching, teaching, or working with people, really of any age demographic, but especially a young mind that is still developing.

So I remember looking at them and being like, “Listen, you don’t – I understand someone gave you the advice of maybe what a trend is in dress for this, but do you like it? Do you like wearing it? Does it feel good in your body, or do you feel worse and more self-conscious, and it’s not – ?” I remember seeing a physical shift in them that I released them from this box that someone else had prescribed for them of you have to do this. You don’t, especially in the world of art, of self-expression, of creation, you get to decide what looks you have. You get to decide what feels good on your body, what songs you want to sing, what characters you wanna play, you know, what you say yes to, what you say no to. You design this for yourself, and I know there are a lot of things, implanting different opinions, whether it be trends you said or society or whatever it is that might be suggesting something different that can be really easy to listen to and let influence you, but you get to decide.

And I know they shifted to putting on an outfit that felt more comfortable, that brought ease, right, that allowed them to showcase themselves as they were. And also they were in a place, in an age of finding themselves, too. So it felt like taking someone else’s opinion and putting something on that was not themselves. So that was a learning lesson for myself too, of just reminding myself that, if we’re going back to leadership, that within that role of leadership, you can say, “Be yourself!” and influence someone else to be themselves. “Your opinion matters the most, not mine. Even though I may be in the position of your teacher right now, or you are auditioning for a panel of directors, schools, or casting, or whatever, your opinion about yourself still matters the most.”

And sometimes you have to dig through that opinion of if it really is like, “Is this opinion coming from other influences of something, or do I really feel this?” And then I’ll give you the next step, okay, yeah, this feels good. Let’s keep exploring this. Maybe this will take me to the next thing that I love. And then the next thing. And then the next thing. I think that’s the only way to move as an artist, is from self.

Megan Gill: Gosh, that’s beautiful. Truly stunning way to put all of that. Oh! Yeah, because we have to learn to trust ourselves, specifically as artists. And god, there’s just so much nuance in that, in learning how to listen to yourself, how to trust yourself. It took me years.

Kelsey Cally: Yeah.

Megan Gill: And it’s really beautiful when it does start to happen. And when you are able to be like, “Oh, that’s what I want to wear for this audition,” because girl, yes, I was in peak music theater, jewel-toned dress. Not that I wouldn’t have worn a dress in heels or a skirt and heels, but I remember when I moved to Chicago, I finally gave myself permission to wear different things to auditions, and it just felt so – I was able to connect with my work more, and if we’re not doing that, what the hell are we doing?

Kelsey Cally: And it offers to the sense of play too. I talk about this in class quite often as well. Don’t put on your body what you think someone else might like. First, start with what do you like, and then look at the character, look at the script, look at the influence of the text. Is there something in here that inspires you to go to your closet and pick out that sweater or go to your jewelry and pick out that pair of earrings? Going back to this show, I understudied this past fall, I had a whole day where I was looking through my clothes, and I was like, “Oh, my gosh, Sherry would wear this and this and this!” And that was just a personal, fun play for me. I didn’t even wear any of it in the show. We had an amazing costume designer, so that was handled, but it was more just for my own play. And I don’t know, I think of myself like, “Okay, if I were looking at everything, what would someone else, what would someone else? I dunno. I dunno.” And there is room to want to appease other people. That isn’t inherently a bad thing, but I don’t know. Just start with yourself. I think that’s the first place you have to start. “What do I like?”

Megan Gill: Absolutely. Absolutely. Because then it also helps cultivate your own personal opinions, which is something that I didn’t realize until I was in my late twenties, probably. “I don’t really have – I have opinions, but I really want to refine my opinions and get to know them and understand them and lean into them across the board as a person.” And that just opened so many doors for me, as a human and as an artist, and to understand that it’s good to have opinions, and it’s good to bring that into your work and into your life. And that’s just another thing that makes us all different. And the clothes that you’re gonna pick out for the role of young mom are gonna be different than the ones I pick out for the role of young mom. And also, how fun is that to just get to play into that? Yeah. Yeah.

Kelsey Cally: Yes, absolutely!

Megan Gill: It’s more enjoyable. There’s more joy than thinking…

Kelsey Cally: This craft is hard enough, so why would you make it any harder on yourself?

Megan Gill: Yes. It’s so true! Kelsey, is there anything else that you want to chat about or bring to the conversation?

Kelsey Cally: Let me think. Let me think.

Megan Gill: Loaded question, I know.

Kelsey Cally: Yeah, no, I just, I go back to – I talk to every – when I’m talking about this craft with students or friends or whatnot, I always talk about how your body is your tool. This is what we have: this body, whatever voice you have, is what you get to use. And each of us has vastly different access to our tools, and the work is understanding that access, too, of what it can do, how I can use it, and what that work is connecting, moving.

If I had advice for someone who’s like, I dunno, either is already an actor, is wanting to be an actor: know your body, hug your body, move your body, love your body, understand your body. Your voice is included in that as well. But do things that bring joy for the body. I was talking about dance earlier. There could have been a world where I made that my profession, and I thought – and I probably, because I saw what my mom dealt with in her career, maybe that influenced me not to make it my profession, because it is really difficult. But I remember there was a time where I was like, “I’m doing this for fun because it feels good, because every time I dance, I’m happy. I feel energetic, I feel buzzy in my body. My brain is probably doing, you know, some amazing chemical things that are making me feel elated. So therefore, I’m going to keep doing it. There could be a world where I look at myself, and I say, “That isn’t perfect,” or “I’m not moving that,” or “My body should shift in that way.” And in that way, I lose the joy of what the thing is in the first place.

o move your body, relate to your body in ways that bring you joy, truly. Yeah. And I think, therefore, you deepen your understanding of your tool and can use it more efficiently in your craft and in your play and in your expression.

Megan Gill: Oh, it’s so beautiful. It’s so beautiful because it’s so true, because we’re each so different that my tools are gonna be – maybe we have some crossover, but they’re gonna be overall different from your tools, from her tools, from her tools. And it’s if that isn’t the beautiful thing about the world and us being each individual people, then what are we doing here? We’re just clones. How boring.

Kelsey Cally is a Chicago-based actor, teacher, and director. Kelsey is founder and owner of Fifth Wall Artistry, where she works with actors from all over the world on deepening their craft. She holds an MFA in Acting from UC Irvine and a BA in Theatre Performance with a minor in Dance from Western Michigan University. Kelsey records a weekly Kids Radio Hour as a volunteer for Vocal Point Georgia Radio, where she shares her love of storytelling with young listeners. She was recently in Factory Theatres’ production of The Sporting Life and Remy Bumppo Theatre Company’s production of Hedda Gabler. She is committed to thoughtful, dynamic work onstage and in the classroom.

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Work with Kelsey and Fifth Wall Artistry!

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

A couple of notes to ensure this is a safe space for my guests to share their intimate and vulnerable body image stories in:

• These conversations are quite nuanced, complex, and oftentimes very vulnerable. Remember that everyone has their own body image story, and while someone else’s might look differently than yours, I encourage you to keep an open mind and stay empathetic.

• That being said, I welcome your support of my guests in the comments. Please be kind and considerate with your words.

• Thank you for being here. By sharing this type of content, my hope is to inspire collective reflection and cultural questioning. Thank you for supporting me in exploring the effects of our society’s beauty norms and body standards on human beings existing in today’s world.

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Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might be interested in being a part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations!

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers.

I live about a mile away from where BeachLife Festival is hosted, so I grabbed my sign, a canvas bag with my stuff, and I walked down towards the water. When I got down there, I wasn’t sure exactly where I wanted to stand, so I took a stroll and scoped the area out. I decided to stand at the cross streets of Beryl and Harbor to get the people walking towards the entry line.

When I arrived, I held my sign up and patiently waited for my first answer. I was excited to be there. I had fewer nerves than I typically do, which is also interesting.

The first answer I got was from a woman who said, “My freckles!” Shortly after, in passing, a woman said her strong arms, and the man she was with said his hair.

A woman came to stand near me, waiting for friends. She said her favorite thing about her body is her hair, and we spoke for a bit about the project and things we appreciated about ourselves. She mentioned she’s a retired teacher, and there’s a book coupled with an exercise she used to do with her students, where they’d have to answer what their favorite thing about their body is.

This was a day of passerbys, as most people who walked near me were on their way to the festival. It was interesting to experience because most answers were given in passing. There was a group of people walking by, and there had to have been five people who shared answers with me pretty simultaneously. It was overwhelmingly beautiful, and I started tearing up. The day, in whole, was quite powerful.

I took some time after my time on the street to reflect after the experience and wrote down those that I remembered most:

“What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body?”

LOCATION: BeachLife Festival, Redondo Beach, CA

DATE: Saturday, May 2nd, 2026

TIME: 2:00-5:00pm

Answers I heard:

• That it’s healthy

• That I have one

• “My big ole booty”

• Everything!

• My eyes seeing you with that sign

• “Guns or buns?”

• Toes - they help me stay grounded

• “That it still functions”

• “My legs because I can walk” - teenager

• My personality

• That it made all four of my babies

• My strong arms

• My shoulders

• My chest

• My tits

• My feet

• My hair

• My boobs - they fed my baby

• My eyes

• My scars

• My smile

• My *insert male reproductive body part here*

• My lips

• My ass

• My jawline

• That it functions

• My hips

• My nose

• My bellybutton

• My fupa

• My skin

• My eyeballs

• My heart

• My brain

The theme that stuck out to me the most:

• The number of men who said their reproductive organ (to keep it PG-13) - this was the first day a man explicitly said it, and not only one man, but about eight men using different terms.

• The number of men who said their chest or their boobies or their nipples was higher than usual.

First-Time Responses:

• A man said his glow-in-the-dark nail polish

• One woman said her jawline, and a teenage guy said his projected maxilla (and yes, he used that scientific term)

• “Dat ass”

• “I don’t want to tell you - it’s classified” - a man

• The woman who said her titties and flashed me one (thanks, girl!)

Powerful responses that stood out:

• “All of it - every single dimple and crevice.”

• A woman said her baby fat and grabbed her belly.

• My sense of humor and sarcasm.

• A woman said her boobs because they fed her babies. She’s a lactation specialist, and she helps women feed their babies. She said, “I’m probably the only woman in Manhattan Beach who doesn’t have a boob job,” and she was proud of it.

• Two different men said their scars - one from surfing as a kid, and another from saving two different people’s lives.

Various groups that approached me:

• There weren’t too many groups that came to chat

• Two women stopped over, and one took a photo with me. She’s the woman who said, “All of it,” and I told her how powerful that was.

• Two people filming for a street show stopped over to interview me. I then asked if I could film them, and the woman said her favorite thing was her personality.

Stand out words of encouragement:

• “I’m glad you’re out here.”

• “You’re so cute!” (smiling works!)

• Quite a few people said, “Aww,” or some form of that upon seeing my sign. It’s always so wonderful to see people smile when they read it.

Patterns I noticed:

• So many people said “everything.”

• More people than not had an answer for me, which was wonderful to witness.

Per usual, thank you to all who shared with me that day. It’s a truly moving experience to stand out there with my sign and get to hear everybody’s answers. I’m honored to be witness to them.

My chosen place to reflect: Slice & Pint, Redondo Beach

My favorite thing about my body that day was… my mobility! How grateful I am to be able to move in the ways that I can. It’s so underrated.

Stay tuned for more of this! I cannot wait to continue this experiment.

I’ll leave you with this: What’s your favorite thing about your body?w

❤️‍🔥Megan

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might want to be part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.

Everyone, please welcome Brittany Brown to Continued Conversations! Brittany and I met through a shared acting community in Los Angeles back in 2019. I knew she was a phenomenal actor, and I also knew she had experience in the modeling industry, so when I started this project, she was on my list of people I wanted to have a conversation with. But it took Brittany sharing a bit more about her experience on “America’s Next Top Model,” once the documentary had been aired, for me to reach out and ask if she’d be open to talking body image with me in this space. And I’m so thankful she was because our conversation was powerful.

In our conversation, we discuss…

• Brittany’s journey to finding Reiki for her own healing and now starting her own Reiki practice to help others

• Giving yourself permission to slow down and rest

• As a kid, learning your body is being perceived by others

• The intersection of a cut-throat modeling industry and the desire to be a soft and creative artist

• Her experience on “America’s Next Top Model” leading her to want to step away from modeling, so she could return to the industry on her own terms

• The importance of safe, supportive representation

• Truly embracing you, who you are, and your body

• Re-teaching our bodies safety after traumatic experiences

• Finding freedom in acting

• It’s our responsibility to protect our bodies

Brittany is truly an incredible light of a woman. She shared so much wisdom in the 45 minutes that we spoke together, and I’m so grateful to her for joining me in discussing parts of her story she hadn’t spoken about in a while. I’m hopeful that anyone who’s gone through something similar to Brittany hears her words and feels seen and validated in her generous vulnerability. In the Instagram post she shared that pulled me to finally reach out to her she shares:

“If this documentary sparks conversations about care, consent, and humanity within creative industries, I hope it also makes room for stories of resilience and moving forward.“

So, thank you, Brittany, for opening up in this space with me. And to everyone here reading, get ready for a moving conversation - I cannot wait for you to listen in!

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Below is a text insert of our conversation that stuck with me, starting at around the 10-minute and 54-second mark:

Brittany Brown: So I feel lucky in the sense of, when I was a kid, I just wanted to play. And I think when you’re around, I don’t know, sixth grade, I remember a boy on the playground just being like, “Where are your boobs?” And I was like, “I don’t know. They’re just not in yet.” This is so silly. I used to wish, on my birthday, “I wish my boobs would grow.” And then, like I said, being that late bloomer – well, and again, other people just always point out, “You’re so tall,” or “You’re so this,” and I’m like, “Yeah, that’s just my body.”

And then I think when I – it was after high school when my body just shifted, and I was like, “Ooh, this is, this is different.” And then that was the time when I went on America’s Next Top Model, and then I’m being told, you know, “Oof, this still doesn’t really quite work. We don’t know where to put you.” And then I’m like, oh, now you’re being evaluated in that sense. And I started to kind of feel like I didn’t have autonomy over my own being, because I was like, “Oh, I’m finally –.” Here we go. I don’t know why this is making me emotional now. You go from being awkward to then feeling good to then still not being enough. And it really messed with me for a long time of just, “Ugh, well, what is my body type? Am I just… I’m not quite tall/skinny enough to be a runway model. I’m not volumptuous. And I just kinda went from caring a lot to kind of just shutting down.

Megan Gill: And like disconnecting from – or what do you mean shutting down?

Brittany Brown: Especially around the timing of me doing that show was just – I was 18, almost 19. And I was so excited because I was like, “I want to just go, and I want to play, and I love being creative and doing photo shoots”. And then it just so quickly became something that wasn’t really fun. And I know people are like, “It’s a tough – it’s a brutal industry. You need to have thick skin.” And I’m like, I am so soft and so tender. I am one of the most – and for a long time, I would get frustrated like, “Brittany, don’t cry, stop crying!” or, “Don’t be so affected.” And I just had to like really accept myself like, “You’ve always been sensitive, and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” So the shutdown thing was just –

Megan Gill: That’s your superpower!

Brittany Brown: Yeah, I think I’m more – well, I wanted nothing to do with the modeling industry.

Megan Gill: After that experience?

Brittany Brown: I was just – I came home, and I was just still processing. And other people are like, “Ah!!!” And I’m like, “Huh?”

Megan Gill: Yeah.

Brittany Brown: It took time. And then I was like if I do this, I want it to be on my terms. I want to find an agency where I feel protected and safe and not constantly just evaluated or…

Megan Gill: Yeah, absolutely, and supported.

Brittany Brown: Yeah!

Megan Gill: Because you’re right, the industry is brutal, and I don’t even know the half of it, but I can only imagine that coming off of that show and having people that don’t know what you went through be like, “Oh, my gosh, this is so exciting!” And you’re having to still sit with and process and deal with everything that you had experienced and how your relationship to your body, the work itself, what you once thought was going to be this – what was this fun, enjoyable thing for you has now been tainted. I am just hurting for 19-year-old you who, you’re still a kid in a sense. It’s a lot to process and sit with and manage.

Brittany Brown: Yeah, and, I mean, I’m grateful in hindsight because some of the women that I was able to meet through that, that was one of the best parts - connecting in this kind of weird process. And some people could argue like, “Well, you signed up for the show. You went on.” And I’m like, yes, I did sign up for the show, but I didn’t sign up for other manipulation or other things that kind of took place, and I was the one who had to come home and then live my life and do the work on healing from that. So it’s a journey.

Megan Gill: Yeah, and it’s also hard for people to say that. Well, yes, but also you would hope – one would hope that going on a show like that would not have been such a difficult experience to go through. You would hope that it would – the pros would outweigh the cons in it to an extent. And I don’t mean to speak for you and say the cons outweighed the pros, but it’s like – I don’t know. I don’t know.

Brittany Brown: Yeah. No, I know what you mean because I remember I got home, and I was in Arizona, and I think an agency wanted to meet with me, and I was very much just like, “I don’t want to do that.” I was just like, “Mm, mm-mm.” And I think I waited almost a year. I did end up being signed, and I was like, “Oh, this is okay.”

I moved to LA shortly after that as well, but I remember just being like – also, I was like I like acting way better because I feel like in modeling it’s so much about how you look, which is also frustrating because – I don’t hate modeling. I love being creative and moving your body, and I just – I hate the bad rap that it’s gotten, but it’s gotten that for a reason, you know?

Megan Gill: Yeah, it is unfortunate. And, okay, a couple things here, because I do want to talk more about your journey into acting and kind of how that evolved your story and your relationship to your self-image. But I’m also thinking it’s so tough in our society today, where ten years ago, we were having this like body positivity movement, and we were getting all different shapes and sizes of bodies in our media. And now it’s – god, I saw something this morning about I don’t know, just the, the way that our society is now leaning back towards like everyone is very, very small.

Brittany Brown: Yeah. It does. It becomes things are more in or trendy.

Megan Gill: That’s like a testament to – that made me think when you were it’s not that you don’t like modeling, or that you like dislike the modeling industry or like the creative act of modeling, but it’s hard when the confines of it are being manipulated by brands and by trends. And it’s so hard to keep up and feel… yeah. I’m rambling.

Brittany Brown: Yeah. It’s almost like – no, you’re not. I know it sounds cheesy too, but even I just tell people, I’m like you really have to embrace you because things are constantly gonna be changing. And if you’re always like, “Well, now I’ve gotta lose 10 pounds,” or “Now I gotta stuff my bra,” I don’t know, just to fit something, if you’re chasing that, it’s never gonna feel aligned. Because trust me, I love throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and then doing a photo shoot. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I think it’s when you feel good, it’s empowering. It’s just when I think maybe it’s giving your power away or how the biggest part for me is learning to not abandon myself in these moments, because no amount of external validation will ever be enough, or it has to come from inside, and people say that, but until you really live it and feel it, I’m like, whew, yeah, that’s very true.

Megan Gill: Yeah, absolutely. And it just reminds me of it being in partnership too or being in friendship, being in relationship with others, it’s like no other person can validate you as much as you can yourself. If you are not accepting of yourself and showing yourself that love and care and kindness and compassion, no one else can do it for you. It’s a similar concept, you know?

Brittany Brown: Oh, it’s still hard though. I remember I did a student film through I think UCLA, I don’t know, ten years ago, and they did a little screening of it, and I just remember I was sitting next to my sister, and I was like – I couldn’t even watch myself. I was just like – all I saw was my flaws. I was like, “Oh my gosh, Brittany, you look like Grumpy Cat when you’re on screen. This is terrible.” And my sister was just like, “What are you talking about?” And I couldn’t even look at it as art or telling a story because I was so hyper-focused on picking apart my appearance. It’s just mind-blowing.

And then that also sucked because I love theater. I love moving my body. I love being quirky. And it’s a very weird experience when you go from that to, “Oh my gosh, but how am I being perceived?” And that was, I think, the trauma from America’s Next Top Model that kind of just like, whew! And then I went, “Oh, that’s the lens I’m looking at. But no one’s out to get me or make me look bad anymore, so why? Whew. Let’s let that go so we can just feel free.”

Megan Gill: Yeah, to be embodied in the play and in the joy and in the expression of the art form, whether it is modeling now or acting on camera or on stage. But you’re right, that is so so hard, and it’s so hard to teach our bodies that they are safe in those moments when you’ve experienced something that led you to feel unsafe in the expression or thereafter. I mean, it took me years to feel comfortable enough in my body as an actor, way too long.

Brittany Brown: Yeah.

Megan Gill: It’s nuts to think that my whole college career, I was just so focused on how I was being perceived in my body that I didn’t even dive into the art form of it all. It’s wild! I’m like, wow. I could have been learning so much more, but instead my brain space was just taken up and all consumed by the way I looked.

Brittany Brown: And I am curious, for you, if you kind of feel the same way of being – do you – with modeling and acting, because you do both, do you feel more of a sense of freedom in acting, or how do you kind of…?

Megan Gill: Now, yes, because I think that I’ve been acting for so long, and I feel like I have grown in such a lovely way with my acting to this place where it’s so much easier for me to be embodied and be in story and not worry about what anyone’s thinking about me.

But when it comes to modeling, it’s like I really don’t know what I’m doing. Technically speaking, there are things that I’m like – so a lot of times, I’m faking it till I’m making in that realm. Not with fit modeling, but if I have um an e-comm casting or something, I’m like, “Ha!” I do not excel in this area. So I’m just showing up and, ultimately, this is me. If you like my look enough – like you said, unfortunately, so much of it is about look. “If you like me enough, then you’ll work with whatever weird thing my hands are doing,” you know?

Brittany Brown: Yeah.

Megan Gill: Yeah, I feel a lot more freedom in my acting, but I think it’s also because what I’ve come to learn – and I’m curious to know if you feel similarly – is that more goes in acting. More things pass. The human nuance when you’re acting and when movement is involved and it’s not just – not that all modeling is still photography, but I don’t know, it’s just more things I feel like can be included. And maybe this is a lesson in more things could be included in the modeling realm too, but… yeah. Yeah, I feel just like freedom.

Brittany Brown: Yeah, I remember too the freedom that I felt for some reason of it doesn’t matter how your hair looks right now, it doesn’t matter if you have a triple chin when you’re thinking or angry. It doesn’t matter when you’re onstage or you’re doing something, you know, it just, to me, felt like, “Oh my gosh!” I get that way, especially with live auditions. If I can feel that level of freedom, it just feels like permission to just be. Yeah, I feel like you don’t really have that when you’re modeling, but maybe that’s just I just could never get there with it.

Megan Gill: I mean, even still, if I do a photoshoot now, and even if it’s just for me, it’s like there is an added level of pressure, and maybe because in my head it’s not “storytelling” in the way that if I’m creating a short film or something, acting in a short film. That is like, “Okay, gotta give it up because story, story. That’s what matters. That’s what matters.” But it’s like, “Yeah, I’m just doing a photoshoot for myself!” So then all of a sudden the pressure’s on, and I’m like, “Oh, god. Everything has to be perfect.” But it’s like, no! We’re humans. We’re not perfect. And it’s okay if – god, it really took me a long time to get to this place of I just took headshots recently, and my belly button was showing in some of the photos, and I’m like do I still have – parts of me still have like feelings about that like, “Ugh, god, ugly.” But then I just do the work to be like, “No. That? No. We have done so much work to accept our belly. No! She deserves to make her freaking appearance. She deserves to be here!”

Brittany Brown: Yeah.

Megan Gill: So there’s always going to be that, “Ugh,” you know?

Brittany Brown: Oh, yeah.

Megan Gill: Like how you said when you were watching yourself in the film, but it’s like hopefully we can do enough work, consistent work, because it’s never-fucking-ending to get to a place where we can have those thoughts, but then be like, “Okay, let’s hold our own hand and be like, “But… It’s okay! You are still good, and you are still talented and incredible and wonderful.”

Brittany Brown: Yeah. Oh, yeah, you just brought me back. Now, I love being tender, and I love people with opinions, and I’m just like, “Ah! Great!”

I remember when I got home from the show, and I had looked up an ANTM fandom website where someone had edited pictures of my face, of what they thought would make my face a better face. And I was just like – that hurt at the time. And then now I’m like who cares? People are always gonna have this opinion, and if I sat and looked and read everything, oh my gosh, that would be terrible. So why even go there? Yeah.

Megan Gill: Right, it’s almost like we get to hand that back to those people. Like, if you feel like you need to say something like that about somebody else’s body, then that’s something that you have to sit with. I think it’s hard to have that realization that that’s theirs to carry, not ours to take on, because it’s, in this case, literally about your body. So it’s really difficult to be able to separate it. But that’s really cool to hear that you have come this far to be able to be like, “That’s on you, man.”

Brittany Brown: Yeah, or I just don’t even want to look. I don’t even look any… yeah.

Megan Gill: Yeah, because it doesn’t matter. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Ooh, I’m curious to know – and maybe we’ve touched on some of this, so forgive me if it’s kind of a repeat, but I’m curious to know how your relationship with your body today is different than it was ten years ago, which I know we’ve kind of talked about. But, I don’t know! If there’s anything else that’s coming up for you when it comes to that?

Brittany Brown: So that inner fun child is definitely still here because I want work to always feel like play and freedom, right? If we’re like, “Ahh!” But some of the tender topics, I think, are still there a little bit. But I am 32 now. You know, I’m not 22. So the need to seek out the validation isn’t really there anymore, which feels like responsibility, actually, because then it’s like, okay, then let’s tend to our body. That is even why I do this work now is because I want to show my body love, safety. It’s my responsibility to protect her. So it feels like strength, but that comes from a very tender place.

Megan Gill: That’s really powerful and lovely and very, very eloquently put.

Brittany is an actress currently based in Arizona, with a deep love for theatre and storytelling that has been a part of her life for as long as she can remember. She has also worked as a model, an experience that shaped her understanding of self-expression, confidence, and the complexity of being seen. Recently, she has been exploring energy work, holding space for others to reconnect with themselves and their own healing. She is passionate about the intersection of creativity, authenticity, and personal growth, and how those elements come together to shape who we are.

Follow Brittany on Instagram

A couple of notes to ensure this is a safe space for my guests to share their intimate and vulnerable body image stories in:

• These conversations are quite nuanced, complex, and oftentimes very vulnerable. Remember that everyone has their own body image story, and while someone else’s might look differently than yours, I encourage you to keep an open mind and stay empathetic.

• In light of this, please feel free to support the guests of this Substack Series in the comments.

• Thank you for being here. By sharing this type of content, my hope is to inspire personal reflection and cultural questioning. Thank you for supporting me in exploring the effects of our culture’s beauty norms and body standards on human beings existing in today’s world.

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Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might want to join in the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers.

On Friday, April 17th, 2026, I took my sign and drove down to Riviera Village.

I’ve been wanting to take my sign to the different pockets of my community, so Riviera Village was next up on my list. It’s a cute little dining/shopping area in South Redondo Beach, CA. I had a feeling it would be a fun spot to bring my sign to - and that it was.

I beat the rush by about an hour or so, finding my spot to park around 4:30. It was quick, and I headed over to the crossroads right at Vist Del Mar & South Catalina Ave. right next to The Aloha Bungalow.

When I got there, I held my sign up. There weren’t many people yet, but I knew traffic was likely to pick up as it grew closer to dinner time.

Like I usually tend to be, I was a bit nervous but also excited and feeling empowered to be there. I was standing, smiling, the sun at my back when people started to respond. It took a bit longer than it had in the past to get a response, but that didn’t bother me. To be quite honest with you, I don’t recall the exact first person to contribute to my question, but very early on I noted a theme for the day: eyes and legs.

One woman passing by said she didn’t know, to which I replied, “It can be anything!” As she was halfway across the opposite street, she grabbed her hair and yelled, “My hair!” She did have fabulous hair.

A younger man driving past in a car shouted out the window, “My eyes!” while pointing both hands to his eyes.

These first few answers had me close to tears. The experience of witnessing people voice an answer to my question is always truly powerful and honestly sometimes overwhelming. It’s so moving. And I’m so happy I’m doing this project, because how beautiful to get to hear from the strangers in my community.

The first two people to approach me to answer were Joe and Sue, a presumed couple who stopped to answer. Joe said his chest/pecs. Sue said her neck/back. It took Sue longer to think up an answer than it did Joe, but I appreciated that she took the time to dig to find something she appreciated about her body.

I then met a younger girl, Sophie, who was with her grandmother. She stopped to chat for a while, which was wonderful. Sophie shared many things about her body that she appreciated - her feet, her lips, and lastly her spine. She said her spine is her ultimate favorite because she recently had surgery on it. So she is now half iron and half human. Her grandmother’s favorite thing is her smile (which was beautiful).

Another guy, Jedidiah, stopped by to chat, saying he saw one of my videos when I was with my sign in Hermosa. Which, like, HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT?! Jedidiah’s favorite thing about his body was his laugh (which was truly infectious). He’s in a band, Feed The Kitty, that was playing at The Craftsman in The Village. As I do, I gave him a sticker for his willingness to be videoed for part of the series, and he gave me a band sticker in return.

I saw two women who’d previously given me an answer - the woman who said her boobs because they feed her baby, and another woman who said her neck. The second woman was with her friend from San Diego, who just so happened to be a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. We all had a chat about how powerful the question is, which was truly just a wonderful conversation to be part of.

This was such a fun place to stand because of the car cross-traffic. The number of people in a car who answered their favorite thing (many, by the way) was so cool to see too! I didn’t anticipate people either reading through their window, shouting responses out their window, or smiling at the question. One woman held up and waved her hands through the window, another pointed to her head/face. This was just so neat to experience.

I was also able to jot down more notes this time around than I had before. The direct quotes are so fun to be able to share, and I wnated to ensure I captured as many as possible.

Before I knew it, my friends Justine and Tanner came over with their friend Chris. Justine answered for the camera, saying her favorite thing about her body is her smile because she uses it to spread positivity - how beautiful is that. Chris said his eyelashes because he used to be bullied for them in school and kids would tell him it looked like he was wearing mascara. But they’re nice and long and he likes them now.

Overall, the day was a hit. The woman who was working at Aloha Bungalow this day was Vicky. She initially laughed when she saw my sign and said something along the lines of how she didn’t have an answer, to which I said, “It can be anything! Like… your aura.” And she said, “Yeah, that’s it - my aura.” I think she was half-joking, but whatever works to get people thinking kindly about themselves, amirite?

By the time she was wrapping up the shop, she asked what I was doing and what my favorite thing about my body was. We spoke about how kind and wonderful our South Bay community is, and she wished me luck as she left for the evening. Vicky is a gem of a human, and I’m so glad she ended up coming over to chat.

I took some time after my time on the street to reflect after the experience and wrote down those that I remembered most:

“What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body?”

LOCATION: Riviera Village, South Redondo Beach, CA

DATE: Friday, April 17th, 2026

TIME: 4:30-7:30pm

Answers I heard:

• My eyes

• My legs

• My smile

• That I have one

• What I can do

• My hair

• My belly

• My ankles

• The fact that I can move

• My spine

• My singing voice

• My tits

• My clavicles

• My feet

• My brain

• My laugh

• My butt

• Everything!

• My back

• My shoulders

• My heart

• My hands

The theme that stuck out to me the most:

• All sorts of various men who said:

  • “I can’t say…”

  • “Well, I can’t talk about that.“

  • “Can’t tell you that.“

  • [A man who’d previously passed me once] “You’ve given me time to think, and I can’t share because it’s private.”

• The two older women had similar responses:

  • One was with her friend who answered her shoulders. When she said vajayjay, we were all laughing. But like, yes, queen, pop off.

  • One older woman (she must have been in her eighties) passed by me the first time saying, “That’s none of your business” in a very joking fashion. On her way back from, what I presumed to be dinner, I was standing with friends when she jokinly shouted, “My vajina is none of your business!” We were all dying laughing at the boldness. This queen.

First-Time Responses:

• My eyeballs.

• My ovaries - that I had three children.

• My singing voice.

• That I’m kind - this was from a gentleman who was with his daughter. At first he said it feels vain to have to answer, and I told him it doesn’t have to be a physical attribute - it can be an organ or an energy. His daughter’s favorite thing about her body was her eyes.

• One gentleman said, “All bodies look the same to me,” which I thought was a very neutral, fascinating response.

• One woman said, “My earlobes - they’re the only thing I have left,” while another woman said, “Not my ears!” So interesting.

• One man on a bike stopped over to chat for a bit. He said his favorite thing is that he feels younger than he actually is. He called his wife to ask her, but she told him that questions feel invasive. Fascinating how everyone interprets it differently.

Powerful responses that stood out:

• One man asked what I was doing and why, to which he replied, “If we think better about ourselves, maybe we won’t be so harsh on others.”

• I had a couple of people mention their brain, and one guy said, “If you don’t use it, you lose it.”

• A woman saw my sign and asked to hug me. She then said, “Hugging you!”

• Another woman said, “That it allows me to move and gives me strength.”

• One woman said, “I can’t decide!” Like, yes, queen! What a great problem to have.

• A young boy said, “My smile!” *cue tears*

Various groups that approached me:

• A sweet family stopped over, and the mom asked one of her young girls who said her eyes. Her other daughter didn’t know, and her son kept saying, “Nothing!” We were laughing because we told him there has to be something, but he kept saying, “Nothing!” then laughing.

• A group of four women and one guy walked past me, and the man was one of the dudes who said, “I can’t tell you that,” while none of the women wanted to answer.

• Two women walked past. One pointd to her friend and said, “Everything!” The friend pointed back and said, “Everything about her too!”

• A 17-yo and her mom on bikes rolled up and said they loved the question. The 17-yo said her legs, and her mom pointed out that it was really cool her daughter wanted to answer. *cue more tears*

Stand out words of encouragement:

• One woman hugged me, said hers was her belly, and told me to never stop being me.

• The women who’s a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and her friend offered kind words about what I was doing, which was just lovely to hear from a clinical psychologist.

Patterns I noticed:

• The amount of people in cars driving past that were looking at my sign.

To all who participated in answering my question last Friday - I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am changed because of you, and I hope you are a little bit too.

My chosen place to reflect: Mi Casa (because I had leftover pasta and an open bottle of wine with my name on it).

I went to my yoga studio, YogaSix Redondo Beach, this morning (Tuesday, April 21st, 2026), and after class, a member came up to me asking if I was out in Riviera Village with a sign about bodies. And I said yes!!! She introduced herself, her name is Corrie (Kori? Cori?), and I’m so thrilled she came up to me. She said she knew she recognized me from Y6, and, though they didn’t stop, that her husband said something along the lines of, “That it’s still working.“ I shared that I’m so happy to hear it got them talking, and she said it was an excellent conversation starter. Such. A. Cool. Moment!!!!!!

My favorite thing about my body that day was… my smile!!!

Stay tuned for more of this! I cannot wait to continue this experiment with my community.

As always, I’ll leave you with this: What’s your favorite thing about your body?

❤️‍🔥Megan

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might want to be part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.

Everyone, please welcome Katie Stone to Continued Conversations! Katie and I were connected through a friend of mine, Alia Parise, who I previously spoke with on Continued Conversations. (Thank you, Alia - we love you!) Katie is also a fellow fit model and print model, and when she had mentioned she has a condition called adenomyosis that she is starting to talk more publicly about, I knew we had to chat.

After all she’s been through with her condition, Katie’s outlook on her life and her relationship to her body now is extremely inspiring. She opens up about her story and shares so beautifully all that she’s gone through that led her to where she’s at now in terms of how she’s relating to her body. She shares so much about her own story in our conversation, and I know she hopes to reach others in doing so too. [Keep an eye out because this woman is going to write a book one day!!!]

In our conversation, we discuss…

• Katie’s health journey that led to her adenomyosis diagnosis

• Educating yourself and caring for your body through that lens while struggling with a chronic health condition becomes your part-time or full-time job

• Radical acceptance of her pain, coupled with science and spirituality, allowed her to begin to heal her body

• The Dutch Test gave her a breakdown of her hormones

• Having to give up coffee, even though she loves it so much - the sacrifices she has had to make to feel good in her body

• How she deeply listened to her body when it told her not to get a hysterectomy

• Katie’s serendipitous discovery of her doctor, who changed everything (who’s also named Katie)

• The toll stress, coupled with genetics, diet, and lifestyle, can truly take on our bodies

• How to cope when feeling out of control in your own body

• Katie’s journy towards opening up about her story and listening to her own heart

• Being honest with a client (or anyone, really) instead of pretending everything is okay

Katie’s vulnerability in sharing her story was admirable. She got into the nitty-gritty of the intersection of science and spirituality when it comes to how she is healing her body. Despite her journey and all she’s been through, Katie is such a light of a human, and I cannot wait for you to hear our conversation!

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Below is a text insert of our conversation that stuck with me, starting at around the 28-minute and 2-second mark:

Katie Stone: I’ve had to navigate through all of this while still doing all of the work that I do. And but, you know, health comes first and foremost because it affects everything else in my life. So it’s like, I know that I need to prioritize this, even if that means that maybe I don’t get a casting one day because I’m just not the right measurements because maybe I’ve been eating a certain way for a few months, and it’s actually made me smaller, and now I’m not those measurements anymore, but I want to bounce back, you know? And so, it’s just a matter of being aware of what’s going on and understanding that you have to just love your body. You have to love yourself going through this. You really do, because it’s difficult and I don’t want to make it worse for myself ultimately.

Megan Gill: Yeah, absolutely. I think that that’s such an important piece of the conversation, that even when you are dealing with so many of these things that are so out of your control – granted, I do think that just living in a body, generally speaking, we think we can control all these little things about ourselves, but we can’t. And then you add a condition like adenomyosis on top of that, and you’re like, “Wow, I really have no control,” especially with the elimination from your diet and trying different things here and there. It’s like, oh my god, it seems as if it’s what the average person experiences, yet tenfold.

Katie Stone: Yeah. Yeah, it really is. And again, people sometimes have no idea that I go through this because I’m not the type to complain a lot. I’m not the type to just, you know, publicly share so much about all of the details that I go through, because it is very sensitive stuff, and I want to share it because I want other people to be aware, first of all. And I want other women to understand that they’re not the only ones going through this. That it is so confusing, and it’s frustrating, and I get it. And I have just been the type of person where I don’t accept just giving up in my life. I cannot accept that. I cannot accept, “Well, I guess I’m gonna have to remove my entire uterus because there’s nothing else I can do, and I’m at the mercy of people telling me what I should be doing.”

I just – and trust me, I have worked with amazing gynecologists, you know, just people who really do care about me and my wellbeing. But this is just how the world works. You do have to do your own research. You do have to find people you work with, that you work well together. You do need to approach it in a holistic sense, in my opinion, if you don’t want to go down that route, and I didn’t. It’s not specifically because I want to have kids or anything that. It’s more so because this is my body, and that’s such a drastic move to have to remove something completely from your body. And then when you think about it – and I know that this has helped so many women out there, you know, having that type of surgery, and I completely get that and support people in their decision, no matter what they do. But for me personally, I just didn’t want to go down that route. And you know, when you remove an organ from your body, that doesn’t necessarily mean you completely solve the problem, you know? Because you’re not understanding, again, why the inflammation is happening to begin with and what’s going on with your hormones. You could still be doing things like, you know, stress levels and things that, that are affecting you even if you do remove your uterus.

So I just like, logically just thought like, “Well, but I want to know what’s going on in my body, you know, and I want to figure that out.” I want to have a working relationship with my body versus thinking of it as something just like, “Okay, I’ll just remove this,” you know, as a project or something.

Megan Gill: Yeah, like a curiosity about deepening that connection to your body that had not been present for so long. And I don’t mean to say that so black and white, but just getting more and more connected. this body that you felt you were disconnected to previously when you had first started going through all of this is deeply important, and that makes so much sense and is so beautiful. And I’m also curious about, earlier you mentioned that there was a whisper telling you not to have the surgery and not to remove your uterus.

Katie Stone: Yes. Yeah.

Megan Gill: I’m curious to hear more about that because that’s also like – I love that you listen to that. That is deep listening to what your body is telling you. And I think that so many people cannot or do not listen to themselves in that way, you know?

Katie Stone: Yeah, no, that’s an amazing point, and I’m really glad you brought that up because that was a really big turning point for me because I was at the end of the line. I was just like, “Okay, I don’t know what else to do.” I was so frustrated. Megan, I was so frustrated.

You know, it was probably summer of last year. Yeah, summer of last year, and I was so frustrated at that point, and I exhausted everything, or so I thought at that time, and I was just like, “You know what? Forget it. I’m just gonna get the surgery.” I had scheduled it; I actually had scheduled the surgery. I put it on the calendar, you know, with the surgery scheduler and and everything, you know. And then, because it takes a long time to schedule those types of surgeries, I had a few months, and I was like, “Okay, if I don’t figure it out in the next few months, I already have it on the calendar, and I’ll do it.”

So that really put my butt into gear to figure it out. And I have to give a giant shout-out to my mom, because she heavily helped me throughout this. And she was very much on my side of like, “Whatever you want to do, I support. But I do think we should give it one last shot just to see if we can find someone out there who specializes in this.” Because I had talked to nutritionists in the past. I had talked to more holistic types of doctors, Chinese, you know, medicine, and things that. I’ve done so many things, you know, acupuncture and things that. And it just, nothing was working enough. And that’s why I was like, “Well, I tried that, so why would I keep trying that?” So that’s why I was just at this point where I was like, “Screw it. I’m just gonna get the surgery.” But then my mom was like, “Let’s just try it one more time. Like, what do we have to lose? Just one more time, just maybe do a little bit more research. You have a different perspective now. If you can find someone to help you, great.”

So then I searched for just dieticians or nutritionists – because I know there’s a difference – but dieticians who specialize in this menstrual condition, I searched for that in Los Angeles, and there were about five to ten that came up that I looked into a little further. I contacted a few. I set up a few calls with them, consultations. I talked to three different people, ultimately. One, she was really great. Wasn’t crazy about her systems, but she had amazing knowledge. Another one I talked to, she was great as well, but she ended up telling me, “I don’t think I’m the right person for you, but I do know someone in my network who I think would be really great if you talk to her instead.” And she said, “I don’t know if she’s taking new clients, but it might be worth a shot just to share your story with her and see what happens.”

So then I emailed her, and her name’s also Katie. I emailed her immediately, and I shared my story with her as to – I was just – I just gave everything I got. I was like, “This is what I’ve gone through. This is what I need. Can you help me?” And she messaged me back pretty fast and said, “Let’s work together. I want to help you.” And I was just like – my heart was just like, “Oh my god, thank god. Thank god I found someone. I hope this works out,” you know? Because I still didn’t fully know. And then we got on a call. I loved her style and her system. Her brain works mine. I was like, “This is great.” You know, she had worked with a few, just a few, other women who had this condition and successfully, you know, got them stable to the point in their lives where it’s just more manageable, you know, and that’s all I wanted. I just wanted to be more manageable. I know this is something I’m gonna have to deal with until I go through menopause. That’s just how it works, you know, because you can’t just completely get rid of this, as far as I know. So that’s all I wanted. And so I’ve been working with her since then.

And again, she’s someone that I had to find on my own. It’s very specific to my needs, and everything that she has treated me with, very specific. For other women, I highly recommend that they talk to a dietician if they’re going through anything remotely similar to what I’m going through and get some testing done. A Dutch test is fantastic for that. I even also recently did a gut biome test where I tested out to see what’s going on, you know, in my intestines, because that has a direct impact on. Your hormones as well, you know, your digestive system. If that’s all out of whack too, then – the two go hand in hand. They work together .your hormones and your reproductive system and all of that, plus what’s going on in your gut. So I knew that that was important.

We recently did that too. And again, mind-blowing data that I learned just from going through that, and her going through the information with me. You know, because a lot of the times too, when you’re online, there are so many people out there just trying to be like, “Oh, this is what you should do. This is the product you should try. This is the supplement mission to try,” and it’s overwhelming. And that’s why I think it’s so important to find the right person to work with you. I don’t think there’s one answer or one product or one solution that’s gonna solve everything, because I’ve been there, done that, and it’s just not the case. So you have to have it specialized to your body and what’s going on specifically inside of you. But I highly recommend to do that testing, and of course, work with your doctors at the same time, but then also work with the dietician to help you get that testing done, to understand what’s exactly going on in your body, so that you can get a plan tailored specifically to you.

So we ordered some supplements and changed up my diet, incorporated more breathwork into my life, and all that. And I’m till going through the process, but it has significantly improved since working with her, significantly improved. First of all, I’m not bleeding the entire month. I’m not dealing with just this bleeding, this constant bleeding. There was a time where I was – it wasn’t heavy every single day, but I was bleeding every single day for a month at one point.

Megan Gill: Oh, my gosh.

Katie Stone: So I was like, if we could at least just get to the point where I’m just having a period and not like – great! You know, and we got to that point because of the supplements and just understanding that my hormones weren’t communicating properly together, they weren’t working like they should. And so, by getting to that first issue and solving that, I was like, okay, now I can just be a normal person, and just, yes, I’m still gonna have these horrible periods, but at least I’m not dealing with this every single day, you know?

So, yeah. So it just took a matter of just me and my refusal to give up on myself and understand that there’s this intuition in all of us. There is something that you feel inside of you, and from my experience. When I don’t listen to it, it’ll creep back in at some point, and it’s just gonna be like, “Hey, come on. I know you hear me. Are you gonna listen to me? Are you gonna use your brain too much, or are you gonna listen to your heart?” You know? And so, that’s kind of what I’ve been practicing more, just listening to my heart more than trying to brain my way through. Yes, of course, you have to use your brain too, you know? But I think it’s both heavily. Because there were so many times where I thought, “No, I’m just gonna get the surgery. Like, I don’t want to go through this anymore. What if I try all these things and they don’t work? You know, what if I just waste all this time, and I could have just gotten the surgery and been done with it,” and all of that.

There were so many times where I felt that, but again, there was this intuition, and again, my mom that just kept creeping back in and telling me, “Just wait. Just wait a little bit longer. Just try this first and see how you feel.”

And I literally, I think it was today or yesterday where I canceled the surgery appointment finally. It’s off my calendar because I said to myself, “I’m not gonna do it. I’m done. I, for sure, have made up my mind that I’m not going down that route because of the results that I’ve seen so far, and I am just scared as to what that would even look like for me if I did get the surgery, afterward, meaning, you know? Because there’s so much that could come up from that, during and after. So many women have had successful procedures done. I get that. But for me, I’m just listening to my heart and just realizing that that just wasn’t the right path for me, and to just do everything I possibly can to make sure that I feel good and solid about my decision and moving forward.

Megan Gill: I think that, wow, that is extremely profound. And I also just want to point out that you stopped running from your body. You stopped, to me, symbolically getting the surgery and removing this thing from your body is still running, right? And instead, you chose to take the potentially more difficult route and the potentially longer route and to become more embodied and to turn inward, and to really try to figure out going on, and to work with your body and to nurture your body in certain ways, and to give it what’s going to help it function better for you, and to maybe eliminate something that you love so much, but that’s not helping it function in the way that you need it to. And I just think that that is extremely admirable and a really beautiful part of your story.

Katie Stone: Thank you.

Megan Gill: And I just wanted to reflect that back to you. Sitting here listening, I’m like, that’s incredible because it’s sometimes so much easier to just run from the thing and just wipe your hands clean of it, even if it potentially might not have been the ultimate solve, like you were saying, right?

Katie Stone: Yeah.

Megan Gill: So I just really commend you for making the conscious decision to work through this condition and to work with your body and to hold your own hand all the way through it.

Katie Stone: Thank you. I really appreciate you saying that too, because again, when you’re going through all this, it can feel – I mean I know I have a lot of people in my life who care about me and who are supportive and all of that, but it can feel very lonely sometimes just because I am literally the only one who knows exactly what I’m going through and what’s right for me, because I’m the one experiencing it.

Katie Stone is a Los Angeles based model and speaker navigating adenomyosis while building a career that depends on her body. While managing severe pain and bleeding that required four blood transfusions, she pursued conventional medical treatments and gradually incorporated holistic approaches in an effort to better understand her body and find sustainable stability. She speaks about the intersection of chronic illness, identity, and learning to build trust with a body that doesn’t always feel predictable.

Follow Katie’s Journey on Instagram!

A couple of notes to ensure this is a safe space for my guests to share their intimate and vulnerable body image stories in:

• It can be easy to feel alone on your journey of existing in a body. I welcome the connection and support of one another in this space through considerate and curious comments.

• These conversations are quite nuanced, complex, and oftentimes very vulnerable. Remember that everyone has their own body image story, and while someone else’s might look differently than yours, I encourage you to keep an open mind and stay empathetic.

• Thank you for being here. By sharing this type of content, my hope is to inspire personal reflection and cultural questioning. Thank you and supporting me in exploring the effects of our culture’s beauty norms and body standards on human beings existing in today’s world.

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Do you have a friend, family member or peer who might love this too? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about my writing and body image conversations!

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers.

On Saturday, April 4th, 2026, I took my sign, and I headed back to Hermosa. It was a beautiful day, and I had a good feeling about the vibes.

It had been two weeks since I last took my sign out, and I was itching to get back into my community. The Hermosa Pier area is such a high-foot-traffic area on the weekends, and I wanted to see what it would be like to go there mid-day on a Saturday.

I decided to take a Lyft down to my spot, because it was a stunning day out, and I had a feeling there would be zero parking. I was dropped off right near the pier, so I walked on over and decided to stand by the blue clock at the intersection of Pier Ave. and Hermosa Ave.

I knew I would probably get less foot traffic in this location than when I stood at the intersection of the pier and the strand a few weeks back, but that’s all part of the experiment, right?

When I arrived at my location, I held my sign right up and smiled. People were looking at me, reading the sign, but it took a while for anyone to say anything to me.

The first person to respond was a teenage girl on her bike. She yelled over to me and said, “My hair!” to which I replied, “I love it! Thank you for answering!” I always love experiencing the first person to share - bold and brave, and probably don’t even realize how grateful I am to them for being the first person that day to answer my question. It always eases any fear I might have around whether people will take to my sign or not.

Next, a gentleman from an art booth 50 or so feet away came over and asked what I was doing. He replied, “My positive energy,” and asked what mine was. I said, “My ability to feel so deeply.”

And soon enough, more and more people were stopping by to ask what I was up to and answer my question.

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I took some time after my time on the street to reflect after the experience and wrote down those that I remembered most:

“What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body?”

LOCATION: Pier Ave. x Hermosa Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA

DATE: Saturday, April 4th, 2026

TIME: 2:00-5:00pm

Answers I heard:

• My nose

• My smile

• My legs

• My eyes

• My feet

• My heart

• My brain

• My hair

• My lips

• My hands

• “Bum and boobs”

• My ass

• My ears

• My dark skin

• That it housed my baby

• That I can think

• That I can hike up a mountain

• Its ability to heal itself

• Everything

The theme that stuck out to me the most:

• So many women said their boobs or butt. Pop off, QUEENS!

• The number of people who continue to say their brain just blows me away.

First-Time Responses:

• My birthmark

• My stomach

• My pancreas

Powerful responses that stood out:

• One woman donated a kidney to her dad, who’d since passed on. And she got a tattoo over it.

• One guy said, “The abs I can’t see yet.”

• A man said, “All of my really good scars.”

• One man, upon seeing my sign, gave a physical reaction and stopped over to answer. He said his curls — he had beautiful, tight curly hair — because he’d hated them for 26 years, and now they’re his favorite part.

• A younger guy said his heart. He asked me mine. Then we exchanged a hug.

• A visibly drunk guy said, “My face. Duh. Hello.”

• A guy said their heart because without it, we wouldn’t get blood to our brain.

• Dominic, a man with a skateboard and a heart monitor, stopped over enamored with my question. He said he can’t believe more people weren’t surrounding me to answer because we live in LA, and everyone here loves their bodies. He said his was the fact that he’s still here. He has a heart condition that limits his activity, but he’s been on a new medication and has been able to do more - like skateboarding and going in the ocean this day. He tried to rally people over to answer, and it was really kind.

Various groups that approached me:

• I saw my friends Justine and Kyle! Justine said her smile, and Kyle said his eyes. It’s been SO MUCH FUN running into friends while out with my sign. Justine invited me to go watch the Arizona basketball game with them when I was done. (More on that later.)

• A mom and her two kids came over. Her daughter waved hello, and the mom asked what her favorite thing was. She said, “My legs because I can move like this!” and proceeded to run in place. It was adorable. Her brother said his hips because they allow him to move too.

• Two older women strolled over to answer. One said her height, and her friend said, “That’s my favorite thing about you too, her height! My favorite thing about my best friend’s body is her height.” It was a lovely exchange.

• A group of 6 guys approached me, and one guy said his eyes because, despite them being small, he can see through people. Another one said his forehead - more room for brains. The group of friends was lightly making fun of each other for their answers, but it got them all talking and thinking.

• A group of 4 women approach me to answer - two of them said their legs, one said her eyes, and the fourth couldn’t think of one. So her friends helped her out. She ended up saying her hair, which has had BEAUTIFUL, thick hair. I loved witnessing her friends brainstorm things they liked about her body, so she could maybe start to see herself in a new light.

• I met two friends who had just recently met. They were visiting from the Midwest, and I had a Chicago hat on. We bonded over that. But they both loved the sign. The guy, Andy, said his brain, and Gllian said, “My legs - they help me run.”

• Two dudes skated over to ask what I was doing. One guy answered his tonuge - because he speaks Spanish and can roll his R’s. His friend said that he has 8% body fat.

Stand out words of encouragement:

• A gentleman told me that it was very noble and brave of me to be doing something good in this world. He explained the biblical references of John the Baptist getting his head cut off and Jesus being nailed to a cross for trying to push back and do good things. And though the world needs people to go against the status quo, we may not always win from it, which only added more fuel to my fire of continuing to do this work.

• Someone noticed me from his friend being in one of my videos! That was SO cool.

• Someone asked if I struggled with body image, and we had a brief exchange about how they do too, and how it’s such a universal experience.

Patterns I noticed:

• Parents asking their kids happens a lot, and it’s always beautiful to hear the kids’ answers.

• There was a lot of humor this day, and I am so here for it.

I have endless gratitude to those who yelled their answers from afar, who answered in quick passing, and who stopped over to chat and share with me more in-depth. This has proved to be an extremely powerful question to ask the people of my community - strangers and friends alike. I keep telling people, “This is your question to answer,” and it’s been incredible to listen to how people interpret it in such different and beautiful ways.

My chosen place to reflect: Surfer Girl at Sea Sprite Beach Club, Hermosa Beach, CA

I arrived around 5:15pm, with my sign in tow. When I walked in, the bartender kind of looked over at my like, “Why does that girl have a sign,” which I thought was hilarious. And I snagged a perfect spot at the bar in the sun and ordered a beverage. I opened my notebook to debrief.

I stopped by the bathroom before heading to meet my friends, and on my way out, a woman stopped me and said she saw me earlier at the pier. She asked about my sign, we chatted for a bit, and she mentioned she used to be a ballet dancer. She then asked how she can contribute to my work! It was such a wonderful moment. I gave her the options, and she decided she wants to record a conversation with me. So stay tuned!!

The After-Party:

I, then, went to meet Justine, Kyle, and our group of friends at a bar for the Arizona basketball game. I told them I’d have my sign and notebook with me, and they saved me a spot next to a wall to prop it up. When our friend Jack arrived, he grabbed my sign and went to ask his friends. This transpired into me asking random people at the bar what their favorite thing about their body is. I even met a few people who said they’d recognized me, from my cheetah pants and red t-shirt, as being the girl holding the sign earlier. One couple asked what the sign read. I told them. The woman, Anna, replied, “My ability to care so much.” And I started tearing up right there at the bar. Shortly after, a man replied his d*ck, but that’s to be expected at a bar, am I right?

Needless to say, I’m getting ~*iDeAs*~ for new places to bring my sign. And I’m looking forward to expanding the experiment. I truly am having the best time with it, and I cannot wait to continue to explore this to see where it takes us!

My favorite thing about my body that day was my ability to feel so deeply. I’m very sensitive and in tune with my emotions. And that feels like a superpower!

I’ll leave you with this: What’s your favorite thing about your body?

❤️‍🔥Megan

If you want to be a part of the conversation… either reach out to me via email at themegangill@gmail.com to schedule a conversation or fill out this form to share your body image story anonymously.

Do you have a friend, family member, or peer who might want to be part of the conversation? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about Continued Conversations

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.

I took my sign to the Manhattan Beach Pier this a few Sundays ago, and here’s what happened.

I’d hit an area in Redondo. I’d hit an area in Hermosa. Next up was Manhattan, and for some reason, I was extra nervous for this one.

I had to really talk myself into getting out to Manhattan Beach. I didn’t have a clear plan on where I wanted to stand. I was tired from a weekend of festivities. And I didn’t know if I’d have it in me to take my sign out this day. But I convinced myself to muster up the courage and energy to go.

I drove in circles around the Manhattan Beach Pier looking for parking. It took me 20 minutes or so to find a (drumroll please) freeee parking spot a few blocks up from the beach. I grabbed my sign and headed towards the pier. It took me so long to find parking that I had to quickly detour to find a restroom before standing for 2+ hours near the pier.

When I arrived at the area I wanted to stand in, I almost immediately saw my good friend Brian and his friend Jay, whom I’d never met before.

It was calming to my system to see a friend so quickly and reminded me that I was in the right place at the right time.

Today was a male-heavy day. Between Brian and Jay, the next few people to approach me were male-presenting.

The first woman to approach me was a girlie in her 20s/30s or so. She said her favorite thing used to be her legs, and now it’s her eyes. But she’s trying to appreciate her belly because it’s changing and growing as she ages. I let her know I, myself, am working every day to appreciate my belly as well, and that she’s not alone in that quest. It was inspiring to me because she was in a bikini with a fun head scarf on, and the fact that she answered her belly, while allowing her belly to be see by others, was powerful.

Overall, the day was a hit. It’s amazing how receptive people are to this question. Of course, there will always be those who walk past me without acknowledgement, but that’s to be expected. The interactions I have with people that truly feel life-changing make the discomfort of those who choose not to answer worth it ten times over.

After my sign time, I went to a local brewery to reflect on the experience and wrote down those that I remembered most:

“What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body?”

LOCATION: Manhattan Beach Pier

DATE: March 22nd, 2026

TIME: 2:00-4:45pm

Answers I heard:

• My physique

• My ass/booty

• My eyes

• My nose

• My hair

• My hands

• My feet

• “Everything!”

• My belly

• My mind

• My boobs

• My smile

• My brain

• My face

• My shoulders

• My lips

• My pinky finger

• My head

The theme that stuck out to me the most:

• How many people said their eyes or their face.

Special responses that stood out:

• A 13-year-old and her mom came over and waited for me to be done chatting with some other people to talk. The mom said, “You know you’re doing something right when your 13-yo daughter wants to come over and answer this question.” They said they both had the same answer initially, but the mom chose another. She said her height, that she used to hate it but has grown to appreciate it because she can see over crowds. Her daughter said her favorite thing about her body was strength and capability. Then, the mom said she also loves her eyes because, though her mom recently passed on, she still sees her when she looks in the mirror. (To which, I cried.)

• I told one gentleman my response to my own question, and he said, “Talk about practicing what you preach!”

• At one point, someone had their window rolled down and was shouting at me from the parking lot. I stepped closer to find it was my good friend Veronica! She shouted, “My favorite thing about your body is me on top of you!” Ha, I love her. Very on-brand response from her. She snapped a pic of me before driving away.

• “My Obama ears.”

• A bald guy asked me what mine was. I said my hair. He took off his hat, pointed to his bald head, and said, “Mine too!”

• A woman came over to me and said hers used to be her hair, but she’s gotten older now. She then started to open up about how she’s facing adversities and discrimination with her landlord for being an older, disabled woman. She told me how she took it to court and tried to fight it, but didn’t end up winning. (This is a huge part of the problem with our current system, by the way.) I asked if I could hug her and told her I’d be thinking about her, sending goodness her way, and that I had a feeling things would start to turn around soon. I’m so glad she stopped to talk and share her story.

First-Time Responses:

• My immune system

• My belly button

• My aura

Various groups that approached me:

• Two girls came over early on. They both said their eyes. One friend turned to the other and said, “Yeah, but I love everything about you.”

• Early on, three women came over to me. One woman blurted out her eyes and said that was the first thing that came to her, and that she never thought she’d have said that as her favorite thing. The other woman with her was almost in tears, saying she felt like it was meant to be to run into me and my sign today. She expressed that the three of them had spent time talking about their bodies earlier that day during brunch, but not in the nicest of ways. She asked to take a photo with me and said she was going to send it to her daughter. Her favorite thing about her body that day was her décolletage.

• Two younger girlies (about high-school age) approached me to answer. One said her hair, the other said her eyes. They then chatted for a bit and said they’d be back with more friends. Their friends came and answered their nose, their hair, and their hair. I told the two girls that my hope through this project is to remind everyone, especially girls their age, to speak kindly to their bodies.

Stand out words of encouragement:

• A woman running stopped to tell me that she really appreciated what I was doing. She said, “If you see something good in someone, tell them.” So she told me she thought it was wonderful that I was out there with my sign asking that question. Her favorite thing about her body was her arms.

Patterns I noticed:

• There was a bit of pushback on my question this day. Fun!

  • One woman asked me what mine was. To which I replied my hair. She said, “That doesn’t count!” I explained why it does, and that anything can go here with my question. She said, “We’re 60 (her and the man she was with), so we’re just grateful to be alive.”

  • Another man who was a vet said, “Well, you have two bodies - the physical and the spiritual.” He’s not wrong.

• A common explanation I kept getting as to why this was the people’s answer was: “It’s what gets complimented the most.”

• The amount of people walking past that I noticed turned to their partner or friend or the person they were with and said, “What’s your favorite thing about your body?” was, yet again, so incredible to see. This will never get old. It’s such an interesting experience to watch people look at my sign and smile, or look at my sign and ask the person next to them what their favorite thing about their body is.

I find myself so grateful for those vulnerable enough to stop over and chat with me this day. Thank you for being brave and for continuing the body image conversation with a stranger (me!).

My chosen place to reflect: Culture Brewing Company, Manhattan Beach, CA

I dropped my sign at my car and exchanged it for my notebook. I went straight to Culture to debrief my day over a beer. There, I saw my friend (and beertender) Ria and told her what I was up to. Then I asked my friend (and beertender) Junior what his favorite thing about his body was, to which he replied, “My hair. I’d never thought about that before.” Such a powerful moment.

My favorite thing about my body that day was my hair. I used to dye it and straighten my waves. But I now love my natural color, and I’m trying to embrace the natural texture too.

Per usual, stay tuned for more of this! I’m inspired by what I’ve experienced so far in standing out with my sign, and I cannot wait to continue on with this experiment.

I’ll leave you with this: What’s your favorite thing about your body?

❤️‍🔥Megan

Do you have a friend, family member or peer who might love this too? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about my writing and body image conversations!

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.

Everyone please welcome Alena Acker to A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations! Alena is another wonderful actor and human that I met through Amy McNabb’s The Spark Membership, and I was so thrilled to sit down and chat with her. I’m so grateful to Alena for her kind heart and vulnerability in our conversation to share some opposing ideas when it comes to body image and general health, prevention, and wellbeing, in hopes that it reaches someone who needs to hear it. Alena also shares a pretty incredible perspective on being a fat actor and hoping to be the representation for others that she needed when she was younger. I know you’re going to enjoy hearing about her body image story, and just get ready to soak in all of the wisdom she shares in our conversation.

In our conversation, we discuss…

• Reclaiming the word “fat” and not demonizing it

• Weight cycling and the impacts of the generational weight loss cycle

• Alena’s choice to stop dieting and accept her body after experiencing the loss of her dad

• The tie between Alena’s acceptance of herself and her acting career taking off

• Being the representation on screen that she needed when she was a kid (that we ALL needed when we were kids)

• The inundation of cultural ideals we’re almost brainwashed by

• The nuance of accepting your body now, in this moment, and still taking the steps to prevent predisposition to heart disease by way of GLP-1

• The fear, as an actor, of your body and appearance drastically changing, and how that could affect your career

• Doing what is best for you and your body, and trusting yourself when it comes to knowing what’s best

I cannot wait for you to hear our conversation!

Subscribe now

Below is a text insert of our conversation that stuck with me, starting at around the 1-minute & 52-second mark:

Alena Acker: It’s interesting. When I was younger, people would say, “Oh, you’re not fat,” or “You’re not that fat.” And what they meant was “You’re not a bad person. I don’t think that you’re lazy or undisciplined or bad,” because those are often – or at least back then in the eighties and nineties, especially, those were things that came along with the word fat. So yeah, it’s one of those things where I’m I think it’s okay to be fat, and I think it’s okay to say that you’re fat. And that it, yeah, just shouldn’t be negative.

Megan Gill: Right. I absolutely agree with you. I saw this post recently about the belly and how it’s also demonized in a similar sense. Whereas, if you have a soft belly and if you have a soft body in general, that you are seen as weak or not disciplined enough. And it’s very much still a theme today. As deep as it went, in the nineties and early two thousands, it’s no, it’s still present here with us today. Yeah.

Alena Acker: It is. Yeah, it is. It feels we’re in a rough moment with this right now because it did seem I don’t know, a few years ago, five, ten years ago, this movement – at least in my perception of things – it seemed oh, there’s this movement that’s really gathering steam, that’s all about body positivity and body diversity and, you know, being able to love yourself and your body regardless of the size and shape of it. Now it feels we’re sort of, I don’t know, regressing a little bit, and we’re in a moment where it seems there’s a big moment that’s sort of trying to get rid of all the diversity in our country. It’s really, really sad. It’s really awful. And, you know, I think body diversity is, you know, a part of that too.

Megan Gill: I absolutely agree, and it is really scary. We are in trying times, and it’s sad because, in terms of body liberation, it’s like we have come so far, and yet we aren’t able to fully live freely within that because, here we are again, yet having to fight back at the patriarchy and fight back here and fight back there. The conversation’s being had because we’re still in the cycle of the fight instead of just being able to live, which is frustrating because it did feel like, for so long, within the last span of ten years, I’d say, and during the pandemic body positivity and body neutrality were becoming such big important liberating movements and now it’s just hard to see it…

Alena Acker: And it was so inspiring for me to see younger people than myself, because I’m middle-aged, you know, just really embracing and sharing these ideas and being like, “Oh, wow. What a different and wonderful way to think,” and it helped me to sort of look at and face some of my own internalized fatphobia, you know? So yeah. So it’s a real bummer that we’re kind of in, you know, one of those sort of valleys of the fight, I guess. You know, things go up and down, and it feels like we’re in a bit of a down spot right now, which is rough.

Megan Gill: Yeah, absolutely. As an actor, I’m curious, as someone who is using your body as your instrument onstage, on screen, probably daily in auditions, and just having it be such a forefront of your life’s work in that sense and your career, I am curious – and this is also kind of a convoluted question here – but how your relationship to your body has influenced your work and your career and your journey as an actor?

Alena Acker: Yeah, what a wonderful question. I’m going to take it way back to when I was a kid, because I kind of always knew I wanted to be an actor. It was like I was taken to the touring company production of Cats as a 6-year-old, and I was like, “Hold on. Are you telling me there’s a job where you can act like a cat, and people come and watch you do it and applaud that? Sign me up!” You know, “This is definitely what I want.” But as a young person, I really only focused on theater. I really only thought I could do theater because I just didn’t see hardly any women, especially with my body type, on screen. So it was just, it was I thought these were facts. I was like, “Oh, well, I can’t do film or TV because fat people can’t be on film or TV, so I’m gonna do theater!” And, you know, it didn’t even occur to me at that point that it was a possibility. And, you know, weight has, has kind of always been a part of my life.

My mom put me in a kid’s – I’m getting emotional thinking about this. She put me in a kid’s weight loss program when I was 12 years old. And I’m someone who has weight cycled about five different times in my life, so what I mean by that is I would lose a significant amount of my body weight, let’s say 20-25%, and then gain it back, you know, and then lose it again, and then gain it back. And so, you know, it started at that super young age, and you know, my mom had her own struggles with this, and she was doing what she thought was the best thing for me to help me, you know, to help my health, to help me perhaps not make what she perceived as mistakes that she had made.

And I’m also a lifelong vegetarian. I was a really picky eater as a child, so I think she was also just like – she kind of was like, “What do I feed this kid? I don’t know how to –.” She just kind of didn’t know what to do. And luckily for us, we’ve since had conversations in adulthood where I’ve said, “I need to know that I am okay no matter my weight and no matter the size and shape of my body. That I know you were trying to help me. But what you did was make me feel there was something fundamentally wrong with me.” And that’s, you know, that’s a very harmful thing for a person to feel. And, you know, I can only imagine how much worse it is when you’re at the intersection of if you’re fat and queer and a black or brown person. It’s not great to grow up thinking that you have this deep, deep flaw.

So it was something that I, you know, just didn’t even think about film or TV. My body’s been many different shapes and sizes and weights over the years, but after coming to New York, I started to find a little bit more success in that on-camera world. And I think the industry also just started to open up in those years, and you started to see more people with a wider variety of shapes and sizes. And so, it was like, “Oh, oh, this is something I could do.”

Megan Gill: Wow. Yeah.

Alena Acker: And I eventually reached a point where I started to feel like, you know what?

I’m okay the way that I am. And that, you know, comes from a lot of therapy, a lot of talking to other friends who are fat, just learning, experiencing things.

But I got to a point, I had lost a bunch of weight again in like 2019, and then in 2021, my dad passed away. And it was during the experience of that happening that I gained the weight back because it was it stressful, and nobody wants to sit there and count calories when someone very important to you is dying.

Megan Gill: Wow, yeah.

Alena Acker: And so, it was after that point that I was like I’m done. I’m done with diets. I’m done losing weight and gaining it back again. This is just gonna be it, and what I’m really gonna work on now just accepting who I am no matter what, you know, and sort of unpacking what have these feelings from youth about myself and about having something wrong with myself, just where do they come from and why are they there, and when are they popping up, and how can I reframe them for myself. And so, I really got to this point where I was like I don’t care about that anymore. I can have confidence. I can love myself. It’s normal for a person’s body to change over the course of their life. And I started to see my career take off a little bit more at that point.

So I started booking more commercials, and I got this role in an off-Broadway play. It was a revival of Tennessee Williams’ The Night of the Iguana. And in this play, I had to wear a 1930s, 1940s-style bathing suit onstage for pretty much the entire time. And I felt okay about it, you know? It was really – it was so cool. I was like just like, “Oh, yeah!” And I have, you know, this cellulite on my thighs, and I’m running around. And part of what made that okay for me is that I was like this character does not care. This character gives zero fucks about what anybody else thinks of her. I’m playing a pair of obnoxious tourists, so it was really fun to play this role where she’s just laughing maniacally and running around and driving everybody nuts and just wearing this bathing suit. And it was, I mean, an incredible experience for many reasons.

I got to work with some of my heroes and get to know them, and I now get to call them friends. And these two wonderful actresses who I really think I was put in that dressing room with them because they are both so unapologetic and so wonderful at standing up for themselves. So that was a really wonderful experience. And one of the things that has helped me a lot when I have these moments, because we all have a moment, you know, when you are in a TV show, when you’re on a commercial, you’re not controlling the camera angles, you know? It’s not your own personal Instagram where you’re you know, doing your poses, working your angles. You get to pick out, you know, the best. And even with headshots and things, you get to pick the ones that you before you share them with people to help you decide. So we all have these moments of, “Oh, god, is that what I look like?” Or, “Oh…”

Megan Gill: Yeah, and not to mention when you’re seeing yourself reflected on camera, which, what’s the age-old trope? “The camera adds ten pounds,” or whatever people wanna say, you know?

Alena Acker: Right, I mean, it’s a flattening of a three-dimensional being into two dimensions. So you’re gonna look – it also can feel weird to us to hear our voice recorded back, to sort of see things in this different way than they go on from – than they feel in our own bodies, you know?

Megan Gill: Yeah. Right, yeah.

Alena Acker: But the thing that has really helped me in those moments is to remember that we want to show all of humanity in our TV shows, on our commercials, in the art that we make. That it’s we want to represent everyone, or at least I think the best art that’s out there does that.

Megan Gill: I agree.

Alena Acker: And so, if I’m like, “Oh my god, had no idea I had so many chins,” I can say to myself, “What if there’s somebody out there who sees this, and for a minute, they feel like, “Oh, well that lady on that commercial looks me, so maybe I’m not so bad,” or “So maybe it’s fine,” or “Maybe the way I look is normal,” you know? There could be someone out there who’s excited see me on camera. There could be somebody out there – thankfully, I don’t think it’s quite the way it was when I was a kid, but in a way, I get to be that person that I didn’t really see –

Megan Gill: Oh, that you needed!

Alena Acker: – when I was little. You know?

Megan Gill: Oh, my god, yeah.

Alena Acker: So that feels really exciting to get to represent people who may feel underrepresented in media or to get to reflect back to someone something that feels, you know, representative of them. That’s really exciting. And so, that’s been a really powerful reframe for me is just being able to, anytime I catch myself in one of those moments, be like, “Well, somebody’s gonna feel happy to see someone who looks like me exactly as I look in this particular frame, in this particular project.

Megan Gill: Yeah. That’s so powerful. And someone’s gonna feel seen in seeing you in this way, which is…

Alena Acker: Exactly, exactly.

Megan Gill: Ah, and just even hearing you say that you are being the person on camera, or on screen, who you little-you needed to see. And I think that sometimes the reframes are just so needed to pull us out of our own heads too and to just remind us why we’re doing this thing in the first place.

Alena Acker: Yeah.

Megan Gill: Because it’s so easy – especially when our bodies are the forefront of our work. It’s so easy to – I know from experience, as well, being an actor. We hyper-fixate, over-obsess about what we look like and try to control every little thing, and it’s hard to let go of control and to accept and to say, “Nope. Yep, I I’m gonna show up –.” I’m in my mid-thirties, but I am really, really trying to not give into Botox, so I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, no, it’s okay,” seeing my crow’s feet and my forehead wrinkles. I just got headshots taken a couple weeks ago and got ‘em back, and I was like, “Wow, never seen these forehead wrinkles,” the way I had in that shoot. But I’m doing a similar reframe as you like, yes, no, but for me, and for my mission as an actor, this is good because this is what happens when you age. This is normal for someone in her mid-thirties to have them. We’re gonna roll with it because that’s what we’re doing right now for us. That might not work for somebody else, but yeah, the reframe is really powerful, so thank you for sharing that.

Alena Acker: Yeah, because it’s like how can we get to a point where people feel less pressure to do these things unless they can see an example of what it is, too.

Megan Gill: Yeah.

Alena Acker: And these kinds of decisions are up to people as individuals and what they need to do, but I do feel it’s like people need to know what the alternative looks like. These sort of brainwashing “ideals” that we are inundated with.

Megan Gill: Yes. And what’s interesting is that the way in which we are inundated with them is via the media, and yet here we are in the media trying to counteract that. So it’s just this interesting opposition and nuance that we’re holding here with wow, it all exists under the umbrella of the media. But also I do think it’s really cool and powerful, as actors, to be able to show up in that way and to kind of try to fight back and counteract all of that brainwashing. If we can do anything here during our time as artists, how cool is that, right?

Alena Acker: I mean, I think it’s very cool.

Megan Gill: Yeah.

Alena Acker: And so, it’s interesting though, because I do have a little bit of a curve ball for you.

Megan Gill: Okay, great.

Alena Acker: All of this kind of said. So I’ve gotten to this place where I’m like all right, I can represent people, and I can be happy about that and proud of that. And I can accept my body the way it is now, in this moment, and accept myself for who I am and love myself. And it’s always, I think, gonna be an ongoing thing of remembering to do that, remembering that it’s like, “Okay, I love me. I’m okay the way I am.” You need those reminders. It’s not like you just become cured.

Megan Gill: Yeah, it’s ongoing work, for sure.

Alena Acker: It is ongoing work. But my curve ball is this, which is that a few months ago I found out that I have a genetic predisposition for heart disease. So it’s called Lipoprotein(a). It’s a subfactor of your LDL cholesterol, or a sub-particle, and it’s sticky. So it sticks to your your blood vessels, and it makes you more likely to develop cardiovascular disease, heart disease, stroke, heart attack, you know, things like that, which are serious concerns. Because heart disease kills more people in our country than all the cancers combined each year.

So I found this out, and I saw a cardiologist, and he was like, “So this is a thing that, at this point in medicine, there’s nothing we can do about. There are no medicines or therapies that can change this thing.” And so, when you have this, you really need to attack your other risk factors. And so, he and I, after much discussion and debate, decided to put me on a GLP-1, which I’ve been on for about six weeks now. So this has been a very – it was a really difficult decision. And, you know, this is something where I don’t feel that people have to justify these decisions to anyone.

Megan Gill: Yeah.

Alena Acker: But the reason that I wanna go through it or explain it is that maybe it’ll help somebody else. And I just feel like that’s a pretty hard left turn, right, to go from, “I’m great at any weight,” to “And now I’m taking this weight-loss drug.”

Megan Gill: Yeah.

Alena Acker: And I was just sort of like, “Oh, my god. Do I want to do this? Is this a betrayal now, then, of fat people that I love in my life, the women and people that I’m representing on screen?” it really felt like – I’m like I’ve just gotten to this place where I feel cool, and now I’m gonna change my body again? It was really tough. And it brings up all these things around, well, am I gonna book fewer roles because I’ve sort of experienced this career uptick at a higher weight, and is that gonna affect the way people cast me and the way people see me and all of the little, logistical – you know, I’m gonna need new headshots, and when am I gonna tell my reps.

Megan Gill: All the things.

Alena Acker: Even stuff as wild as I shot this pilot, a small role, a couple of scenes in a pilot back in October, and I don’t know if it’s gonna be picked up to series, and I don’t know if I will be invited back if it does get picked up to series, but I could, because my character is in the workplace of one of the main characters. And so, it’s this thing of, “What if they ask me back, and I look completely different, and then I lose the opportunity because of that?” I really was just sort of spiraling out about how much this is going to change, or could change things. But, ultimately, I just felt this is something I need to do for my health. It’s something where I want to be around for a long time, and I want to be able to tell these stories. And if my body becomes different, then it’s just, you know, a different body type that I’m representing. And I’ve always felt like sort of a weirdo and an oddball, and I still get to represent the weirdos and oddballs in the world at any weight.

It’s been an interesting challenge because we think of loving ourself at any weight or any shape or any size as having more to do with if we get larger, if we get older, you know? But it’s like if you’re gonna do it, then you have to do it all the way, no matter what direction your body changes in.

Megan Gill: Right. Which is hard work, regardless.

Alena Acker: Yeah, it’s an interesting position that I find myself in.

Alena Acker is a New York-based actor who often plays characters that seem ordinary at first but are surprisingly complex once you dive deeper. She’s the shy nerd who stands up for herself, the wacky teacher who might actually teach you something, the pious innocent who’s anything but.

TV credits include NBC’s Law and Order, HBO Max’s And Just Like That (The Sex and the City Reboot) and the upcoming FX Pilot Disinherited from Better Call Saul Showrunner Peter Gould.

She has graced international stages performing in plays and musicals - favorite credits include The Off Broadway Revival of Tennessee Williams’ The Night of the Iguana at the Signature Theatre, starring Tim Daly, Daphne Rubin-Vega and Lea DeLaria, directed by Emily Mann; as well as Drama Desk nominated the Ryan Case 1973 and the role of Typhoid Mary in The Trial of Typhoid Mary with Live-In Theater. She also performed at the Gyeonggi English Village theme park in South Korea, delighting family audiences as a clumsy witch, a cheerful unicorn, a menacing pirate and everything in between.

LA Comedy Festival, the NY Fringe Festival, UCB and the PIT audiences know her from Mother Eve’s Secret Garden of Sensual Sisterhood, a musical self-help satire in which she played Rhododendron, a timid woman with low self-esteem who gains confidence and learns to love herself–not without plenty of laughs along the way.

Alena has performed her original character comedy with Characters Welcome, at The PIT and at Second City NYC and has appeared in numerous commercials for well-known brands.

A graduate of the University of Michigan with a double major in Theatre and German Language and Literature, she spent her junior year abroad and speaks fluent German.

Alena lives with her husband and cat Sophie and is a New York City triathlon finisher.

Follow Alena on Instagram

Check out her IMdB

A couple of notes to ensure this is a safe space for my guests to share their intimate and vulnerable body image stories in:

• It can be easy to feel alone on your journey of existing in a body. I welcome the connection and support of one another in this space through considerate and curious comments.

• These conversations are quite nuanced, complex, and oftentimes very vulnerable. Remember that everyone has their own body image story, and while someone else’s might look differently than yours, I encourage you to keep an open mind and stay empathetic.

• Thank you for being here. By sharing this type of content, my hope is to inspire personal reflection and cultural questioning. Thank you and supporting me in exploring the effects of our culture’s beauty norms and body standards on human beings existing in today’s world.

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Do you have a friend, family member or peer who might love this too? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about my writing and body image conversations!

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your health providers.

Say hello to:

Continued Conversations: Anonymous Body Image Stories

In continuing the body image conversation through intimate, recorded, one-on-one chats, I’ve had some express their desire to share their story without publicly being tied to it. And so, I created Continued Conversations: Anonymous Body Image Stories!

HOW WILL THIS WORK?

It’s a fairly simple process: Fill out this form!

Please feel free to include as much or as little of your story as you’d like. It’s up to you what information you feel comfortable sharing.

I’ll then take the information you provide on the form and share it in a Substack post. It will be a direct share from whatever you choose to enter into the form.

Does it have to be anonymous? No! If you’d like to include your name, please do. If you’d like to remain anonymous, that is welcome too. This is meant to be just another way to continue the body image conversation on this platform.

I want to offer those who may not want to be publicly tied to their stories, a platform to still share and impact our audience without having to divulge so much of themselves online.

HOW WILL THIS CHANGE CONTINUED CONVERSATIONS ON SUBSTACK?

Don’t worry, I’ll still be sharng one post per week (minimum) with you! These will include…

• My bi-weekly recorded conversation about body image

• A recap of the “What’s Your Favorite Thing About Your Body?” series in my community

• An anonymous body image story share online

• From time to time, a personal essay about my own experience in my own body

It’s my goal to turn this space into a little corner of the internet where the conversation about body image is being continued in various ways - one-on-one, in my community, anonymously, through myself - by a wide collective of human beings. I believe this conversation must include a multitude of perspectives and lived experiences.

HOW TO HELP SPREAD THE WORD?

Please, please, please share this with your friends, your family, anyone you think might be interested in sharing their body image story in this way, on this forum.

While I will be verbally telling people, in my life and online, about this addition to Continued Conversations, this project has spread by word of mouth so far, and I’d love to continue to be connected with people that way as well. I would be so grateful if you’d share with anyone you think will be willing to respond.

Thank you for being here, and I’m excited to keep continuing conversations about body image with all of you!

In body healing,

Megan ❤️‍🔥

Do you have a friend, family member or peer who might love this too? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about my writing and body image conversations!

Share A Broadway Body: Continued Conversations

While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.