Navigating My Bad Body Image Week
What came up for me during a bad body image week and my takeaways from challenging myself to not feed into old coping strategies
So many of my bad body image days (or weeks, in this instance) are driven by how uncomfortable I feel in my body. And this is connected to so many factors beyond our control. Even when we THINK we’re in control of our bodies, we’re really not and never fully will be. A harsh reality to accept, eh?
My disordered eating patterns were always fueled by control. I thought I could control how I looked and felt. But sometimes no matter what we do, we have no say.
Welcome to my bad body image week.
Two weeks ago, I worked out every single day (7 days a week), and I still had a bad body image week. I took my dog for extra long walks… I drank lots and lots and lots of water… I cooked at home a decent amount… and despite doing the things that usually help me feel better in my body, I had a tough time feeling comfortable. And I had the thought: why is it if I’ve moved my body seven days in a row, nourished myself well, hydrated, and got good sleep… do I still not feel good in my body?
Let’s unpack this:
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but the factors that determine whether or not a person feels “good” in my body can extend far beyond food and exercise alone. They also include the temperature of the air/season, where we are in our cycle, how our clothes are fitting on any given day, etcetera.
It’s also summer. It’s hot. Bodies expand in heat.
The weather has been hot, like HOT hot. Bodies expand in the heat. Personally speaking, I’m not as comfortable in my body in the heat. I don’t love sweating, I typically end up feeling swollen, my clothes never seem to fit right, and my energy is downright sluggish.
Usually I can bounce back from a bad body image day. I’ve worked through enough of them to build my toolkit and strengthen my resilience. But phew, let me tell ya, it was tough pulling myself out of a whole week of struggle. I had quite a few not-so-helpful thoughts swirling around my brain while I was going through it.
I had to really stop myself and remind myself that I am okay, I am good, I am safe just as I am, and that I don’t need to change the way I’m feeding myself or moving myself. It took a lot to calm my nervous system. It was hard to get away from the spin of past disordered habits that I' used to revert to in order to regain control and stop feeling bad about my body.
It’s much harder to sit with this and challenge the thoughts and work through the discomfort.
My body image journey is currently about feeling good in my body…
… not feeling good because of what I see in the mirror
… not feeling good because of the shape my body is
… not feeling good because of the way I look, right?
And if I’m doing the things that usually make me feel good, then that’s all I can do. Because guess what? We’re not ALWAYS going to feel 100% - life just doesn’t work that way.
I hope this reflection of moving through my bad body image week is helpful. I share to hopefully helps others going through similar experiences feel less alone. Know that we’re all fighting our own battles when it comes to our bodies and self-image, and the more we speak about it in our friend groups, with our family, and even online… the more we normalize the universal experience of just how freaking difficult it can be to exist in a body.
xx Megan
While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.