The Grass is Greener
Where you water it + a caveat/nuance to this concept x body image
“The grass is greener on the other side,” some might say… stuck in a never-ending loop of comparison. Wanting that woman’s legs, that other woman’s smile, that other woman’s career.
I’ve heard this phrase in terms of being in a relationship, yet missing something within said relational dynamic and thinking you can just go and find it in someone else, instead of accepting the person you are with and pouring your heart, energy, and time into them. While this may not always be the best-case scenario in certain relationships, I believe the concept is similar with our bodies.
Sure, it’s so temping to think we can always have more, more, more, better, better, better. But what if we already have everything we need, and all we have to do is work to appreciate what we’ve already got?
Some thoughts on our cultural conditioning:
We’re conditioned to compare - to others’ bodies, to our own reflection. Social media and the digital media age only exacerbates this.
We’re conditioned to always want more/better - therefore never allowing us to be satisfied with the body we’re in right now.
We’re also conditioned to be “changing this, changing that,” or “working on this, working on that,” instead of resting and relishing in the body we have today.
Now, this whole working-with-what-you-got concept is only viable if you are not struggling with your relationship to food, exercise, your body image, or a combination of the above.
Thee Olivia Dean says in her song Something Inbetween:
“The grass is greener where you water it. But I don’t know if I can grow here.”
I’ve been mulling over this concept for s Substack post for a bit now, and I kept coming back to this line of Olivia’s in pertaining to our bodies. I think it’s a beautiful representation of the nuance of what it means to water our relationship to our own body image and also understand that we can only do so when we are in a healthy place. That, yes, if we pour into our bodies and speak goodness and positivity/neutrality into them, then we will begin to heal our connection to our physical vessels and, hopefully, start to rewire our brains to see the goodness in ourselves… but we can only do so if we are not struggling. If someone is in the thick of an ED or Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), the most important piece of the puzzle is seeking professional help. We cannot begin to rebuild a strong relationship to our bodies and self-image from a place of fight or flight.
It’s a privilege to even suggest that the grass is greener where you water it when it comes to our bodies. Because so many people are still going through the battle. But I do still want to speak to some things that have been coming up for me on this journey in hopes they might reach somebody that needs to hear them:
What this has looked like for me as of late is when I see myself in the mirror, I’m finding myself seeing the things I like or feel neutral about, in lieu of searching for every single perceived flaw in my appearance. I’ve found a place of acceptance (most days), I guess? And it’s peaceful. Honoring my body with gratitude and grace is much more lovely of an experience than hating on her every inch. And don’t get me wrong, there are moments where I am talking shit to my body… but holding the awareness of this concept has shifted how long those moments last.
When it comes to our bodies, I truly believe the grass isn’t greener in the other side (when we’re skinnier, when we can finally fit into that old pair of jeans, when we reach a certain weight on the scale); the grass is greener where we water it (when we pour into ourselves, when we romanticize every inch of our skin and our curves and our figure, when we pay our own selves a compliment, when we befriend our reflection, when we actively work to stop those comparison patterns, we strengthen our relationship to our bodies and therefore pour into our own cup - helloooo, watering our own grass). But please ensure you are going on this journey from a healthy place. Take care of yourself, your mental and physical wellbeing, first and foremost.
In body healing,
Megan ❤️🔥
Do you have a friend, family member or peer who might love this too? I’d be honored if you could help me spread the word about my writing and body image conversations!
While I’m not a licensed therapist, registered dietician, or medical health professional and cannot speak to body image topics from a clinical, trauma-informed place, I am an expert of lived experience. I’m an academic of my own body, and I’m passionate about facilitating conversations with other humans about their relationships with their bodies. I believe it’s important to continue conversations about healthy body image in creative spaces as a means to heal individuals as well as the collective whole. But just know the information presented in this medium is not professional mental health advice or medical advice, and any questions or concerns you have should always be directed to your healthcare providers.